Oregon Trail

Alright, today I'm leaving for Seattle in order to visit my sister and meet her boyfriend....and also to go see the Sasquatch music festival, which should be awesome....though a little damp it seems.  I just talked to Jon, one of my friends that moved from Madison to Seattle.  Y'know, he's one of the only people that seems excited when I visit...my sister says "I'm excited you're coming to visit" but I know she doesn't mean it....I still think she's holding a grudge from all those times I used to hide her shoes (what? It STILL is totally funny).  Anyway, here are a few other links that I found last night while procrastinating packing.  (Did you see the finale for Lost?!?  It was CRAZY AWESOME.  I'm gonna be tortured for the next several months waiting for it.  Oooh, and I could just kill Locke....and especially kill michael, jerk....ok, sorry.....my life is TOTALLY better than having to rely on TV to entertain me....yup.  sweet, reliable, nonjudgemental T.V.)

Very funny news clip: the newscaster mixes up being gay and blind....I often do too.  hilarity ensues.
Since when did Brookstone get into the "adult toy" industry...she looks like she's having too much fun riding that. [scanner]
Sometimes funny Postcards I made site [screenhead]
Very odd Anne Frank TV show clip (failed pilot)..besides the fact that it's jacked up, it makes me feel dirty....but good use of Neutral Milk Hotel
 

Mechanical Turk

I learned a new phrase today: Mechanical Turk (check out all this turkish stuff, yo!).  It was a famous 18th century automaton that was supposed to be able to play chess.  It turned out to be a hoax with a chess master sitting inside the machine.  Amazon's Mechanical Turk, also known as artificial artificial intelligence, is a beta service that allows computers to use humans intelligence to complete tasks that computers have a hard time completing.  Well, isn't that super?

more links:
Here is an amazingly cool photo that is made of other photos....so you can zoom in ad nauseum....which I have....for the past twenty minutes....
Funny little post about cliche business photographs
Hey!  Wanna know useless facts about your birthday?  Well look at this.

What is up with Edward Munch's paintings....they just keep getting stolen.
Washington post article on the smuttiness of the internet .  Guess who's horny?
Really cool idea: nike and apple team up to make something that will tell my ipod how lazy i am

How to make a rain hood for your camera (this one's for me, for this weekend...I'm goin to the "big sassy".....okay, I just made that stupid name up, I meant to say "Seattle")

Very funny nerd humor: comparing girlfriend 6.0 vs wife 1.0

Also very funny article from Wired about Rental car technology

What's up?!?

Okay, so has anyone else noticed that since we got back from Turkey, all sorts of crazy shit has happened?  What's up, Turkey?  Do you miss us?  Is everything super boring without us and you're throwing tantrums?  Aww, that's cute.  Thanks, we like you, too.  In all seriousness, it just seems like Turkey has been in the news more....or maybe I just notice it more now

There was the slaying of these judges over their head scarf ruling 

Then yesterday, a Greek and Turkish fighter collide in mid air

And today, there is a huge fire at Ataturk International Airport

Yikes. 

lslsl (oops, accidental post)

Neat how-to of emptying a light bulb...i see another time wasting project in my future
Rad picture series of a snail crossing a gap in a park bench...you can almost hear him say "oh fuck" the second his shell comes off the back slat.
From now on, I'm referring to my naughty bits as my ornaments

One more question.....

The finale of 24 was good...except why would jack believe that his daughter would just HAPPEN to call right at the moment of his triumphant victory?  Here's how the conversation went:
Random guy: "Agent Bauer, your daughter is calling" 
Agent Bauer: "Whatever dude, she totally hates me...."
RG: "No really, and she wants to tell you she loves you and is super sorry that she was such a bitchface to you last time she saw you"
AB: "Whatevs, yo; that don't sound like her..."
RG: "And she's channeling the ghost of your wife that wants to tell you the hiding place of Redbeard's Treasure"
AB: "wha?..."
RG: "DId I mention they were all naked...."
AB: "What the hell?  You're talking about my daughter!,, erm....and the ghost of my dead wife...."
RG: " Oh yeah, sorry; I totally meant that they were holding adorable kittens..."
AB:  "Adorable Kittens?  I am totally there...."
RG: "sucker"
AB: "what was that?"
RG: "Huh? Oh nothing...I was talking about something else"
AB: "Oh okay....I'll just go into this private dark hanger to take this "call" even though I've taken every other call on my celly all day.....which is cool cuz I'm totally running out of "anytime minutes" this month...hey does anybody want to order chinese food after I take this call?  I totally have this weird hankerin' for it."

Oh yeah?  And where the hell did Wayne Palmer go?  Ten bucks says he is sitting around in some "safe" basement without cable or internet or nothin just waiting for "things to blow over".....two years from now, CTU is totally gonna remember him....and then have to make up some crazy story about aliens or nuclear war or something.  He's totally gonna be pissed.

Twenty-fortean

Sweet, I totally forgot about the final episode of 24 tonight....thanks G and google calendar.  So what does today hold?  Well, last week 24 came close to jumping the shark....y'know, somehow getting the crucial piece of evidence erased by some half-wit dumbtwat and then the submarine captain who was specifically TOLD that terrorists were there sticking his head out of the hatch....I mean, come on!  Shouldn't you just have submerged or something...or at least use the periscope? 
So what is it this week?  How are they going to end the season?  Was the neurotoxin accidentally switched with laughing gas?  Hilarity ensues.  WIll Chloe finally pass that huge nugget she looks like she's wrestling with during every episode?  WIll Jack realize that he hasn't taken a piss the entire day and his bladder will explode?  Will Aaron and the first lady get it on?  Will jack train super dolphins to save the world?  WIll jack finally say "Look, we have all the time in the world, let's just talk about this for a while"  We'll see what happens tonight!

Viral Sh(r)edding

 Pshew!  I thought I was dipping into a little dysthymia this weekend, but lo, it seems to be more benign.  I was cranky, short tempered and it seemed that everything was going wrong (well, that may be true).  However, upon review of the weekend and in light of this morning...it seems I have caught some sort of cold bug.  Yes, yes, the reason I was a complete jackass this weekend was because of a small cadre of little micro-organisms wreaking havoc on my innards.  I swear.  I'm really a good guy.  Stupid jerk viruses making me cranky.  So, remember that time you got hit by a freight train?  Yeah, I kinda feel like that this morning.  I was short of breath putting on my socks....does it make it any less pathetic if I say they were "dress socks"? no?  Well, it culminated when I called into work to ask what my schedule was...and when I was about to hang up, I said "Thanks, mom".  Brilliant.  I've already bolused 2400% of the daily recommended Vitamin C...c'mon "placebo effect"!

 

 A pretty   awesome commercial from ikea with their new 360 view kitchens....I like another one of these more (less annoying) but can't find it right now...this one's similar, but the sound is grating. 
Another article about silk screening
A wired article about happy sex...well, actually, about how the 'net has changed information gathering, interaction, etc.
 

Sunrise

sunrisemay18
Originally uploaded by puma1.

There was a beautiful sunrise this morning.....and I almost knocked my tripod into the lake. Anyway, I'm getting an early start on a day that I could have slept in a little for. Oh well. Some links below:

-Ricky Gervais had a band called Seona Dancing (shawna)....and it is hilarious. [screenhead]
-The comedy duo flight of the concords folk rap [screenhead]
-Cool, i need to make a felt squid [MAKE zine]
-Creepy McDonald's ad from India....this baby is coming to eat you.
-Dang, just bought a kitchen timer; shoulda held out for this neat tetris-like timer
-Why you're a vegetarian. Movie from 1982 including Betty Buckley from Eight is Enough! and the craziest looking German family. Also a few disturbing killing scenes
-Beautifully shot still motion/flash movie "Forest Grove" using a planned neighborhood model

Milestone

Buddha
Originally uploaded by puma1.

I've hit it....the "Huge Five-O-O". No, no, how about the "big Half-Thou"...or perhaps the "Merely Respectable Quarter 2k"? Nope, I got it...how about the "incredible waste of everyone's time"? Yeah, that fits.
Yep. Five hundred completely useless entries. Well, it's been a long, crazy road but we finally made it.....isn't that what you're supposed to say on these kinds of posts? If you tune in later, I'll have a charming little flashback episode with a montage at the credits.
I wondered what picture I would put up for this one. No really good celebration pics....well, there was that one time I got trashed and blew the flashlight...high point of the evening...for the flashlight; mom would be proud. Well, I guess I could've included a picture of the rest of my face....but that would ensure that nobody EVER comes back. Then, there's ALWAYS pictures of my nuts; but that is SOOO overdone. So, I decided to include the first picture I ever put on my computer....you can even see the scanner cover peaking through the bottom left corner. It's symbolic really....half assed, cliche "photography" for this half assed -cliche blog. See? I'm totally working on being less negative. It's a celebration, bitches.

Duck Hunt

hey little guy, are you alone?
Originally uploaded by puma1.

Hey, guess who got their ass kicked by a duck tonight? (Hint: it was me) (thank goodness my camera doesn't record high pitched screams)

knock it off

Dear Officemate,

 

Please stop talking.  You are driving me crazy.  Please, I beg you to stop.  What are you talking about, anyway?  You're going to make an Arsenal soccer jersey for the finals tonight....great.  You made some really great salad last night....super.  You went to see the mayor speak last night and you are currently pontificating about each citizen's civic duties.  You're "girlfriend" is having a piano recital this weekend....she teaches preschoolers music, dude; Rachmaninoff it ain't, yo.  You're fucking killing me, you know that?  Don't you see my head turned AND my earphones in?  Can't you hear my soft wimpering, hoping you will cease your verbal onslaught?  No, you don't, you just like to hear the constant humm of your own voice...I wish I had a tazer.

Net

Dang.  They fixed the gate.  Jerks.

But, hey, check it out!  Flickr is now gamma!  The organizer is pretty snazzy and it looks like the menus are slightly more intuitive.  Well, who can work when flickr is all growed up?  Not me, that's for sure.

And have you heard of this site?  It's called Flightaware.com and it is totally awesome.  You can track flights in realtime and figure out where the flights are coming from by typing their tail numbers in.  And you can also track local storms it seems.  Boy, I really don't want to work today, do I?

No work today

Aww crap....I have a million things to do....but nothing will get done today, fo' sho'.  I mean, who's gonna sit here and watch what happens in the parking lot?  You know, because the entry and exit gates are going all apeshit up and down at random intervals.  Driving in was like playing nintendo, yo.  Awesome.

Paved With Good Intentions

Did I mention that I was going to try to be more positive in general?  Yeah, well, fuck that.  It's not worth it.  This weekend completely blew.  Well, not COMPLETELY, I did make some pretty good Raspberry Streusel Bars.  Yep.  Livin the bachelor dream.  Baking.  Ooh, and I also swiffered all over the house.  Oh yeah, then I checked all the "Plug-ins" to make sure they weren't empty.  That was pretty awesome.  But, it was mostly busy....I didn't read a thing for work (and I need to).  Whatever.

Oh yeah, I did go to the farmer's market in Madison (if you've never been, it's pretty great; I think it's one of the largest...or maybe oldest...) it was neat to see all the vendors out again, though the day was rainy.  I took some pictures, but alas they're at home.  My favorite part was seeing this one guy who is there every Saturday walking around chanting "May Peace prevail on the Earth.  Let there be peace in the state/country of __________"  He was doing states this week....I was walking near him from Arizona up until just before Delaware ....I still can't support peace in Delaware, yo.

Arrgh, back to work.  I need to stop napping at this computer, it just looks bad....

 

Links: cool photography dealing with the extreme architectural density of hong kong and a catalog of various people's 100 by 100 foot apartments.

How to make those photos that look like train set model photographs....yeah, that makes sense....man, I cannot think straight today.

 

I Survived a Turkish Prison and All I Got Was This Stupit Blog....

Konichiwa Bitches!  How are things, interenets?!?!  I am back incountry and on the grid again....oh wait, right, you knew that....since 99% of the readership of this blog was with me.....sorry.  Well, if you weren't with us and accidently were looking for "cougars2" but miss-typed, I will have you know our Turkey trip was great. 
Though, re-adjusting to life back home has been difficult.  I keep saying things like "excuse me" and "thank you" in Turkish....essentially all the Turkish that I know, really (I am one polite motherfucker, see?).  Work has been a bear for the past few days, it'll take me a while to get used to it again.  And not having tea every seven minutes will also take some adjusting to.
However, I will still look back fondly on Turkey....especially since IT IS FRIGGIN SNOWING IN MAY HERE.   What the fuck is your problem, Wisconsin?  (dang, couldn't get through a post without complaining).  Anyway, I can't wait to write more about Turkey, and the pictures are coming soon.  B, I hope Ankara is going well (oops, you're in Mercin now, my adoptive home); thanks for all the good work as the team ambassador.  And G, you did a pretty good job as team president....though we all know it was just a popularity contest.  More to come....if I get off my lazy ass.  Merhaba, y'all. (which means "hello" but I can't remember what goodbye is....get off my fucking back)