Insulted

Dear Trick or Treaters,

How are you? I hope you are doing well. I hope you are having a devilishly good halloween! heh, heh. I'll bet you're all having fun, you boys and ghouls. Heh. Let's hope you don't get molested by someone dressed like a vampire. Cough...ahem. Sorry.
Well, it's halloween night! I see all of you scampering around in your cute little costumes! Don't forget to brush after all that candy! Erm, well....I assume you are getting candy from somewhere....since you aren't coming to our house to get it.....
No, no, don't worry about it. It's not like I rushed out of work as quick as I could. And I didn't stop at a local supermarket to get gouged for ridiculously high priced candy (seriously?!? eight bucks for dum-dum butterscotch and "mystery"lollipops? (which are all butterscotch). And no, I didn't put on a cursory "mechanic" costume because I didn't want to be labeled "square" or whatever you kids are calling it these days (the neighborhood kids are fond of yelling "narc" at me, is that the new slang for "nerd"?). Oh, and no, I didn't postpone working on my very important projects so that I could sit downstairs and wait for you.
And that's what I did....sat there and waited. For three hours I sat there waiting. It was like high school all over again. Oh, I know you were near, I could hear your giddy little giggles and footsteps in the street. You went to our neighbors house, with their frank lloyd wright woodworking, beautiful house lights, and their lit up jack o' lanterns. Oh sure. If you're into conventional halloween fare, then go ahead right on over there. However, if you want the authentic halloween "There is Likely a Dead Body and a Molester Down There" vibe, then why didn't you kids come to our house? I mean, really, I had piles of roofie-less candy; delicious, roofie-less candy. And that smell wasn't a rotting corpse...well, I'm not sure what that smell is, but probably not a rotting corpse. It's innocent, see? And we have AUTHENTIC cobwebs and giant spiders! What do you want from us? Or were we finally put on that damn sex-offenders website?

The view of our house from the street. See? not tremendously creepy at all. It almost doesn't look like it's getting swallowed into the depths of hell. What's that you say? Yeah, sure, a house light would have been helpful. And less screams, sure. Oh just shut up, Martha Stewart; hindsight is twenty-twenty, isn't it?

Slight Return

We are in decline. The boon of the 80's, the peak in the nineties, and now the slow desent that is '00. God, I can't wait for this decade to be over. THAT is the Y2k problem: the high suckocity of this decade.

Well, I'm back in town from travelling home to visit my family. It actually was a great weekend and it's always good to see my family....despite the current strife. They're crazy, sure...but they're MY brand of crazy.

What else is going on now with me? I started a new woodworking class....because I decided that having an infinite number of deathly sharp fragments of wood embedded in my hands was enjoyable.

Also, I started taking more pictures again....no, not good pictures, but it's a start. And I've been llstening to a bunch of great music recently, maybe I'll write about it later. (Also, slightly embarrassing, but there is a crapload of great TV on this season....well, good enough for TV, anyway) Well, I hope everyone is doing well, later.

Restless

I don't know what is going on with me....lack of caffeine....too much caffeine....too much work piling up....not enough direction....whatever it is, I have been feeling crazy restless.  Maybe it's winter coming and my primordial clock telling me I better get my shit squared up soon.  Well, my to-do list could've told me that.

Secret[ary]

An Open Letter to the Secretary in my Department,

 

Hi!  How are you?  How have your first few weeks been going?  I'm sure pretty rough, it's a pretty steep learning curve, I know.  Thanks for all of your help last week, I really appreciate it, by the way. 

Oh, there is one thing, though, that I wanted to talk to you about.  Yes, well, it's about my arch-nemesis.  Oh, "Which one?" you ask..haha..that's clever!  Good one.  Yes, well anyway; you know, my arch-nemesis that works in our department named "F**krod*ssholemotherf*ckerd*ckwadpieceofsh*tj*zzball"?  Well, sure, that's not his real name, but every time you mistake him for me and say "hello, [asshat's name instead of mine]", all I hear is "Hi F**krod*ssholemotherf*ckerd*ckwadpieceofsh*tj*zzball!!!"  So, if you could correct that, that'd be great.  Thanks!

Ewwww

Today, I put a phone receiver to my ear at work....and to my chagrin found that it was moist.  Ugh.  So gross.  Sadly, the best case scenario is that it's ear sweat.  Blech.

Movies

Whoa, check out the Blogorrhea today!  It surely isn't because I want to procrastinate anything....no way.  Anyway, here's a link to amazing movie ideas that some guy sent to Patton Oswald; this was posted on the bob and david website (Mr. Show!)....friggin hilarious.

In theory, communism works, too.....

So, I just saw this new "Email Printer" that does not require a computer to have direct printouts of email.  In theory, this is for people [old people] that have difficulties using computers [old people, like my parents] that want to ease into the computer age [old people, like my parents, who choose to forget that the "computer age" started way over 20 years ago].  In theory, this machine is an okay idea....however, in reality, you will realize the error of your ways in buying this machine for grandma when she is found dead [of shock] clutching her first viagra spam.

Weird

Saw this headline in the NYT:

In Tokyo, Rice Vows to Defend Japan

That's so weird.  How will rice do it?  Will Burrito's be defending Mexico?  Quiche defending France?  Will Pizza be defending America?  ....oh, wait.

Drool

So today I decided to go to a lecture....without getting coffee first.....bad idea. There I was, sitting in my chair all smug for being pro-active with my education. The lecture hall was sort of full, so I wondered why some guy had decided to sit on the stairs just behind my left shoulder. (Who the hell was this guy?) So, the lecture started and things were going pretty well....until 35 minutes into it...my smugness seems to have warmed me up a little too much....lulling me quietly to sleep. I awoke to the sound of a clatter....oops....I dropped my to-do list notecards that I was writing drowsy-sleep-marked notes on. Oh, thank you, mysterious gentleman to my left for picking up my errant belongings. Oh, it's you. Hello, Mr. My-Program-Director-that-now-has-confirmation-that-I-am-a-lazy-idiot. Super.
(ADDENDUM: this appears correctly in the "editor" but just doesn't display properly...supit internets)

A Magnetic Ribbon Sticker for my Soul

Okay, so I went to a show last week and was sooo very excited to see the band.  It was Mojave 3 and I used to LOVE their beautiful, subtle, slo-fi* music.   Except the show completely BLEW.  They have apparently completely changed their sound now....I should have read the all music guide description BEFORE I went: "[Mojave 3's new album] threw their formula out and recast them...as an uptempo pop band with the occasional country-influenced ballad."  BLECH.  It disgusts me, it turns my stomach.  Not in years have I had such an angry reaction to a show.
     So, I spent the weekend licking my wounds.  Woe is me, indeed.  However, after the appropriate 36 hours of mourning, I decided to pick myself off the not-so-proverbial "Dust bunny infested" floor of my bedroom and go to another show.  Adem and Juana Molina from Domino Records.  B and I arrived at Cafe Montmartre a full two hours early....I due to the need to sit down in case the show was terrible...and B due to a rather unfortunate misunderstanding about when the show started.  However, the dinner was great, our waiter was great, the ambiance was perfect (they played Velvet Underground AND Neutral Milk Hotel.....sigh...I'm such an eight year old girl).  Needless to say, it was the set-up for a great show.  Adem with his quiet indifolk* songs.  My favorite part was his rendition of Unravel by Bjork on a Eukelele....it was actually very good.  Not to be outdone, he was followed by the small voiced but big sound of Juana Molina.  It seems that this space was perfect for her.  Molina, previously an Argentinian sit-com actress, played beautiful and sparse organic folktronica*, often looping her own voice on delay and singing over it.  Very cool.  The only hitch of the evening was when Adem convinced me to buy the vinyl edition of his new album.....which I promptly forgot next to my chair and had to come all the way back from home.  Small price to pay for a good night. 
   Anyway, sorry for the gush...it was just one of the better shows that I've seen in months....especially when contrasted with the other show-that-shall-never-again-be-spoken-aloud.


* [editor's note: these genre names are all made up....these genre's do exist, I think; but I'm not sure if these bands actually fit in to those categories.  Apparently I don't care enough to check. sorry]

flashbacks

So....have you ever driven with my family in the car?  No?  Lucky you.  Do you want to know what it's like?  Well, it's alot like this: GPS units from gizmodo

Enough....

Okay New York Times.....we get it.....you rilly rilly like Turkey.....or hired a Turk for the travel section. Either way, please stop hitting me in the nuts with it, thanks.

Drowsy and procrastinating

The title says it all.  It's Saturday night, I've had at least 10 cups of coffee today and I'm still so sleepy....but it's Saturday....my time....I can't waste it with napping....must....continue....to....do.....things.....inefficiently....

-Funny post about the worst fonts....Algerian is one of my least faves, ugh.  ADDENDUM: guess I'm not the only one: flickr pool of algerian used in signage
-Really great time lapse photography movie set to music
-miss 24? Me too.  and apparently these guys do as well.
-Very nice summary of a recent Annie Leibowitz talk ; I love her art, have yet to see the book
-I love Ze Frank, he's tremendously clever and have been watching him for a while but realize I've never linked to him.  Truly a shame; he's tremendously funny.  Be sure to click on "the show" to see his daily video (i refuse to use the term "vlog", blech).
-Strange but captivating and beautiful movie called " The Rabbit"

Bless the small towns

Y'know, some days I really hate living in a small town.  However, it pleased me so much today to watch a family try to flag down a pizza delivery guy thinking it was a taxi.

Champ

Hey!  It's Friday!  Woohooo!  And how many of you gave a presentation today with their fly half down!  Woohoo!  Wait....am I the only one raising my hand?

Subdue the Turk

The Turk won the Nobel!!  Orhan Pamuk won the Nobel prize in literature today, pretty cool.

Vote

Uh-oh.  The Americans are sweeping the nobels!  Who's gonna win the nobel prize in literature next week?  Awww, who cares, I won't understand their fancy talk anyway.

Lost Precis: Season 3 episode 1: A Tale of Two Cities

Lost is back!  Exciting?  Yes.  Infuriating?  Yes.
So, here it is, the synopsis of the first episode of the new season:
It starts out with Petula Clarke and a book club.  Fuck, I didn't know desperate housewives was on tonight?  Oh wait, earthquake....oh, it's a plane crash...oceanic 815?  Yep, yawn.  Oh look, Henry Gale from last season being all bitchy again....sweet.  And apparently they've done this before....he's barking orders before the plane even hits the ground.  Pan out to see the "others" living in the middle of the forest....gasp!
Alright, the rest of the episode is Jack flashing back to his annoying ass previous life.  I'll summarize the rest of those flashbacks: I NEED TO KNOW THE NAME OF THE MAN THAT IS SLEEPING WITH MY SOON-TO-BE EX-WIFE?  WHA? MY DAD?!?  I HATE YOU DADDY!
Jack wakes up in some sort of holding cell....yanking his chain....repeatedly.  Gross metaphor.  Anywho, I'll also summarize the Jack-in-the-present part:  KATE! WHERE ARE YOU?  WHY AM I HERE?  YOU WON'T BREAK ME!  I'M GOING TO OPEN THIS DOOR AND CAUSE A CATASTROPHE EVEN THOUGH I'VE BEEN WARNED!  OOPS!  OH, YOU SAVED ME.  OKAY, YOU BROKE ME, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO KNOW?
Kate's is better:  She has a shower and then is "forced" to wear a totally hot dress....then blah blah blah....oh yeah, she puts handcuffs on, too.  Rawr.  Then gets told "it's going to be a terrible two weeks". 
Cut to Sawyer in a giant panda cage.  He spends most of the episode figuring out the food dispenser.  Then the asshat in the next cell opens up his cell and tells sawyer to run and don't stop.  Well, of course, he DOES stop and gets his ass tazered by the same woman that's torturing Jack.  Anyway, he gets put back in his cell, wins a fish biscuit, and then sees Kate put in the cell across from him.  He...and his dimples....ask Kate if she wants some fish cookie (not a metaphor)....she does, and they share a tender moment.
Then, after Jack is broken, we see "Henry" say "Thanks, Juliet" and she says "Thanks, Ben". 
But she totally doesn't mean it.

Night

lightening storm 2
Originally uploaded by puma1.

Sorry about the lame posts recently, things have been busy and whatnot. The other night we had these kickass storms over the lake. Apparently, I have no idea how to take pictures at night. However, I was able to get one or two interesting pics during the lightning storm.
I have a great weekend ahead of me, I'm going to the D of C! I'm super excited and can't wait. Unfortunately, that's two days away. sigh.

Haven't linked out for a while, so here some are:
-A neat little airfare site that will tell you when to buy tickets to another city ...unfortunately, the cities are limited and alas, madison has not made the final cut...jerks.
-How to take pictures through the viewfinders of old cameras. I did this years ago with my old cameras, but not to the sophistication of this.
-Very beautiful paperwork art
-Earthquakes happen every day, wanna see where they were?
-yet another cool color picker
- fake mix tape generator: hours of idiotic fun

Timer

So, there was this argument in our house tonight:  How do YOU boil an egg?
This argument teaches me 3 things:
1) The extraordinarily high level of cuisine that is created in this house is staggering
2) We can find anything to argue about
3) My life is sad

Brilliant Idea

Despite the school shootings, Middle East unrest, and paige fondling, leave it to the Icelanders to think of this beautiful idea. They decided to shut the street lights off in Rekjavik for thirty minutes so that people could see the stars better. How nice.

oops

okay, so it probably would've helped to actually include the link:  HERE it is.
And apparently there's more versions that have been made....but, dear god, why?!?

Could Thriller get Better?

The Answer: Fuck Yeah. Super fuck yeah. Enjoy the Indian version of Thriller. Awesome. This needed to be made.