Manque

So, I just found out that the Ig Nobels have been announced! Hooray! I love reading these articles because I'm pretty sure that it's the closest I'll come to a Nobel prize. I'm gonna nab me one.

Blink

swallowed
Originally uploaded by puma1.

Alright, so I'm already annoyed with my day off. Yeah, I KNOW that's not normal...I have too many projects though, and it's completely paralyzed me. I'm in a coffee shop this morning, already hard wired. Every time I hang out at coffee shops, I realize that I kinda hate people. No, no...don't get me wrong, I mean, YOU would hate these people, too. For example, next to me right now are these punk christian commandos(oh, did I tell you about the hot Jehovah witnesses that came to our house? Shoot girl, save me, I've been a naughty naughty boy). Anyway, back to the Born Agains next to me...they're arguing about how their church is split up into cliques...[and I quote] "there's the rosary clique, the confession clique, the youth minister clique..." Man, those rosary bitches never put out. But what really bugged me about them was that in the end they were just judging all the other groups. I cannot stand the self righteousness. ugh. But I digress.
Anyway, as you can see, it's a little foggy here. I just watched it roll in off the lake, it was pretty great...though my neighbors think I'm a complete pervert. Don't get me wrong, I completely am but that's none of their business. And I am completely convinced that the Barrista here (or whatever they are called at non-starbuck facilities) loves me. I got a free piece of chocolate. shucks.
Oh, yup, I really hate people. Somebody just said that liking apricots is "sooo 18th century"...um, it's funny for its randomness but pretentious as hell....dang, why didn't I think of that?

Blue Light

Woohoo, I'm being a bad boy today and staying up late cuz I get a three day weekend that I don't deserve at all! Way to go completely useless holidays and government jobs! This is my Saturday night, beeotch! I was going to blog all about my weekend but I just talked to you and I live with you, so everyone's pretty much up to speed, right? Well, alright, maybe if I get time tomorrow during my awesome day off, I'll blog and post pics and whatnot. For tonight....and for tomorrow morning for all those that have real jobs and have to be at work: links for your viewing pleasure!

Awesome OK Go! video; this totally destroys every home video I made when I was a kid...they even have the "We're surrounded by Mexican pistoleros, let's go out in a blaze of fury" move. Awesome. And the best part is that it looks it's one take from start to finish. Double awesome.

Wikipedia article on something I've never heard....but may be really awesome: Pornocracy.

break dancing samurai: movie with the greatest quote ever: "A time for honor, a time for courage, a time for hip-hop"

Space camp is bullshit....apparently. But man, lea thompson...yum. I met a girl once that would tell you that she went to space camp in the first ten minutes of any conversation with a new person.


Ok, for some reason, this fucking catalog company...which I swear I hadn't heard of since they started sending me catalogs two months ago...is now completely stalking me. I have a feeling one of my roommates had something to do with it. Also, I'm sure the "blowjob" comment from Friday's post doesn't help my arguments. So what if I'm reading a 500 page book on the art and science of "keeping house". Who the hell do I have to blow to set the record "straight"? Oops, oh yeah... now I guess I see where you may think that...nope, it just taint true. I'm completely heterosensual. No, really.
And this is one of the funnier articles that I've read recently. Truly heroic journalism. Some highlights:

"So, you got any capes?” I ask, and she looks honestly regretful when she tells me she does not.

..."as though I’m swathed in several yards of cold sore".

Funny. as. shit. [i had a similar experience with my salmon colored pants...but it was nowhere near as funny as this]
Y'know, that would be a cruel bet...for the loser to have to wear the item that the winner gets him for one evening. Crap, completely forget that; i have a feeling I'll be wearing a ruffeled shirt soon. but you may have to wear this...actually, no, i'd find worse....

saturday

skylightsat the capitol
Originally uploaded by puma1.

man, i have done nothing today. whatever. I'm debating whether to go see the Corpse Bride or to sit on my fat ass and do nothing. Hmm, both have their benefits.

Masquerade

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Uh oh.

So, in my current delirious state, I have come to realize that the government is doing it's testing on me. It's revived the killer 1918 influenza virus....and has given it to me. I, loyal readers, will do my best to provide the world with antibodies. But, alas, if I succumb to this evil entity, all of you can divy up my record collection.

Febrile

Man, I feel horrible right now. I'm burning up, I ache all over, I'm falling apart. Spending the evening at work did not help. I need sleep. Grrr. The beat goes on. It must've been that Kim Possible comment, dang. Well, at least this picture makes me feel better.

Just Wrong

Alright...so it may be the time of night right now.....it may be that my libido has been out of control recently.....it may be the strangely alluring Overstock.com commercials on TV....it may be that I'm reading Lolita currently..but right now, as I watch TV, all I can think is that Kim Possible is HOT, yo.
Sad.

gotta quit

Man....I have a hard enough time as it is...now this. The NY times has a new article about cyclists and impotence, great. Why didn't they say this earlier? And why the hell did I buy a bike seat called "the flaccinator"?

Unwise Man

So yesterday I decided to wear some comfortable pants. They happened to be a salmon-y color (a very masculine salmon-y color, by the way). And apparently that was too much for everybody. So, in the grocery store, this asshat laughs and says "nice pants". So I reply, a little too loudly, "well, you're the one wearing camouflage in a grocery store". I just need to remind myself that in this state, camouflage and gun ownership go hand in hand.

Screeching

An Open Letter to the inhabitants of the watering hole,

 

As I had previously mentioned in the last blog post (which I'm sure you have all read), I have had a browser opened to the National Geographic live camera trained on a watering hole in Botswana; yes, that's right, your watering hole.  Thanks for allowing us to peep into your life, it gives us a rare view for the habitat that you ...um...inhabit.  It's been really fascinating for me and reminds me of my trips to South Africa. 

However, I do have one slight problem.  Well, I'm not sure which one of you it is, frankly.  Oh how should I put this without sounding rude?  Well...my problem is with the animal that has been screeching into the microphone for the past two hours.  What the hell is your problem?  What the hell have you been doing?  I mean, part of the time it sounds like you're getting your ass kicked and the rest of the time it sounds like you're having crazy wild monkey sex (whether you be a monkey or not).  Which is it? 

Actually, it doesn't matter; just do it in front of the damn camera, alright?  If I have to sit here and listen (well, yes, I understand I don't have to listen to it, but what the hell else am I suposed to do?), I might as well get a look, too.  Is that asking so much?  I mean, really, the only reason that I watch this thing is to see 1) Something getting mauled 2) Crazy wild monkey sex....do you think I care about the mysterious beauty of nature.  Fuck all that.  Munky sex or blood, period.  That's what this audience wants, yo; if you can't provide that, then the network will probably cancel your ass.  Then where you gonna be?  Screechin at your agent won't do shit, he don't care about you, fool.  Soon you'll be doing TV movies with Matt LeBlanc and Jason Alexander for Spike TV.  Sad.  And that honey that you be tappin' off camera?  Yeah, she gonna leave you for that fuckin vulture that's always hoggin the damn camera; that dude's got star quality written all over him (he may be ugly, but he's totally workin that Ric Ocasek weird lookin dude vibe).  So, what'll it be, playa?  Just some advice, you don't have to take it....keep screechin into the mike, dawg; we'll see how things shake out.  Later.   

Roundup

So, a little down time this morning; maybe a few links from over the weekend:  Man, I've had four cups of coffee without thinking...trouble ahead.

 

I'm not going to be your monkey : An Interview with Jon Stewart from the guardian

 

Awesomely huge Ziploc bags...for when you run out of body bags, I guess

 

Mirrormask is coming out soon, by Neil Gaimon (awesome sandman comics) and D. Mckean; since I can't see serenity this week because my friend that introduced me to it can't come into town this week...i hope mirrormask comes soon.

 

Cheryl Mendelson, author of Home Comforts (which I bought recently), came out with a new book about Laundry ....413 pages about laundry, awesome.. i couldn't get through the Amazon profile of it even but I think it's a great idea to seriously discuss the art of things we take for granted.

 

Man, corporate sponsorship is everywhere.

 

This is open on the corner of my desktop at all times, reminds me of home (awesome watering hole camera from Nat Geo)

 

Did I post this yet?  The shining trailer if done as a romantic comedy; West Side story as a horror flick.  Both are really funny.

 

Lance's most rigorous challenge to date, via the onion.

 

I love random generators, now here's a blog of it.

 

Awesome new artists, strangely from the altoid corp; check out the mcdonald bag tree, it is mind blowingly awesome

 

Loose Knot

Ugh...This morning was a mild clusterf*ck.  I could not get out of bed and I think i'm coming down with something...prolly syphilis.  Oh wait, no, that would require contact with another human.  My tie knot is a little looser this morning, perhaps it, too, is lamenting going back to work.  blech.

End of the Weekend

bora breaching the door
Originally uploaded by puma1.

So...I guess if anyone asks what I did this weekend, I'd have to say...we shot eachother with friggin lasers. It was pretty rad, I'll have to admit. I forgot what it was like to live with males. Lasers + Fog machine = ridiculously good time.
And then I spent two hours making butternut squash risotto while listening to dirty podcasts while getting trashed off the wine I needed for the recipe. Brilliant. My mom would be proud. Anyway, back to the grindstone.

Sunday Morning

sunriseoct2
Originally uploaded by puma1.

I always both love and dread Sunday mornings. Actually, until recently, there was no phenomenon of Sunday morning for me. But now, as I enjoy the benefit of two day weekends, I remember the pleasure and pain of Sundays. Listening to a low stress album, catching CBS sunday morning (a habit gleaned from when I only had one channel), making breakfast at home, flipping through the Sunday Times, and catching up on blogging. Then there's the whispering awareness in the back of your head that tells you that your comfortable life will be interrupted for a few days. Hmmm, better get back to my leisure activities before the whisper gets louder.

my new kit

my new kit
Originally uploaded by puma1.

So, I was super excited yesterday; I got my new camera in the mail! This is what was in the box...yes, and like a seven year old, I had to just lay it all out and admire it. Maybe I'll sleep with it under my pillow like I used to do with matchbox cars and GI Joe guys. I think they accidentally put an extra battery in my box...shhhh, don't tell anybody. And yes, the sheets on my bed are mint green.

Enabler

bad news
Originally uploaded by puma1.

Alright...so I have a problem....I appear to be the catalyst for badness...and hangovers. Gotta get that fixed.

A Cautionary Tale

So...just a warning...if you use liquid nitrogen at work, don't get caught trying to freeze your mountain dew...it just makes you look craaaazy.

Mate

I almost forgot about the Mates of State/Ida show I went to last night.  It was such a good show.  We unfortunately didn't stay for all of it because we're old folks.  You know it's a great show when the band invites more than half the audience to get up on the stage and dance with them.  Did I dance on stage?  Oh no, no...how would I give you readers the tremendous objective reporting that you've come to expect?  Nope, just shoegazing in the back for me, thank you very much.  The Mates were alot of fun, as much fun as the last time....and luckily a few less of the doe-eyed glances at eachother like they did last time.  Ida was their usual low-fi self; I like them quite a bit but i think they were a little rusty (the tour started in madison last night).  Overall a good show, it'll make me drop the Mates cd in again over the next few days.

 

 

Photography and ghosts, an article in the NYT about the use and abuse of photography in reports of the occult

 

Cool art piece in the middle of the desert: a Prada store facade in the middle of nowhere....how long before somebody smashes the window to get at the real prada bags and shoes...i give it seven minutes

 

Oh hey, apparently the NYT has a review of Serenity

 

Big and very cool photoshop tutorial site

 

kickass toy amp is apparently the best thing all of these audiophiles have ever heard...pretty sweet...now i just need to think of a reason to buy one

 

So, to make my previous link defunct, here's an updated link about the MIT laptop and the Simputer.  If you can't tell, I really love this idea

My Time Has Come

I almost forgot....Today is National Geek Day....shouldn't I get the day off of work or sumthin?