Rod Stewart Songs

Alright. I know it's been a long time since I've blogged. It's been busy here. Yeah, yeah, I know EVERYONE's busy but it's been busier than usual. And...I don't see you spending the time to blog....why not? Why should I take the time out of my day to entertain you? For once, why don't you EARN something. Instead of reading blogs, write one. Instead of flipping through pics online, why don't you take one? Instead of watching porn online, why don't you make one? (please forward all submissions to this blog; sorry, no stouties).

Anyway, today has been a very distracting day. I feel dirty even making jokes. And i'm sure you don't read this blog for finger wagging, tear jerking, and preaching (actually, nobody reads this blog, period.). But here it goes. I lost a friend last night in a car accident. I didn't know her well, but i knew her well enough. As people always are described with senseless events like this, she was smart, sweet, and kind. I guess you always have to say that, unfortunately, it's often true. I don't know what to do today really, it just is strange. I'm not devastated, but it's just so sad and senseless. It knocked the wind out of me. What a waste.

And, it's not like I'm any stranger to any of this. I've lost five close friends over the course of my life, and several peripheral acquaintances. In my job, I deal with death and dying literally almost every day. You'd think that I would be somewhat prepared for this kind of thing. But each time, it's a new wound. We treat deaths of others we don't know with such calculated callousness; we're supposed to be "professionals". We'll give the family a sad smile, a pat on the back, maybe a hug; we'll ask if there's anything else they need. Then, two minutes later, we're back to thinking about our ipod, lunch, or that hot little number you flirted with at the coffee shop. I've always told people that death is a natural part of the cycle of life; but when it's someone you know and love, all that is bullshit. I don't care that everyone dies and sometimes bad things just happen....you can use those lines with other chumps. All I can focus on is the fact that we lost someone that is so promising and who had such a bright future. All I can think about is her family who lost their precious daughter and sister. And for what? She fell asleep at the wheel driving back here to get to work. She probably worked too many hours, tried to stretch her day out too far, and paid the ultimate price. And here at work, we have to ignore the fact that we lost a friend and go on with business as usual; everyone rally to cover up the loss. Hmmm. I didn't want this to take a bitter turn, I just wanted therapeutic rambling (i'm good at that). But it just comes out that I AM bitter about the loss of time that we all experience. I AM bitter that this kind of shit happens. We are not invincible. We can lose anybody at any time. We are fragile and break too easily. And we never appreciate what we have until its gone. Alright, enough of this homily. I hope it doesn't sound trite, it's just raw right now. And goddamnit, if I ever have to hear rod stewart's "forever young" at a friend's funeral again, it will be waaaay too soon, and i will fucking gouge my eyes out.
Smoke em if you got em.
later.