Bath in a Cup

So, I don't know if it's a midwest thing (though, I'm pretty sure it is) is the use of the GIANT coffee/soda mugs.  Not big as in 20-30 oz, I'm talking HUGE, as in 60-80-100 or more ounces.  You know, the ones with the large bore flexy straw/hose shooting out of the lid; with the little cap for the end of the straw, as if that's going to make it sanitary.  You still don't know?  Well here's an example. (and to give you scale, those are actual life-size people on the cup).  Anyway, I just love how the secretaries around here all walk around with this ginormous cups full of coffee with cream and sugar or soda; all the meanwhile complaining about how their diet isn't working.  Dear lord, I don't think I drink that much liquid in a week.  When I was travelling in India and Africa, we would take baths from buckets smaller than that.  And you know it's getting ridiculous when you see a cup with TWO handles for each hand, as a woman had this morning.  When will this mad cup-race end, people?

 

And I know folks have been clamouring for more links and pictures (yes, that's right, clamouring!; they're from the UK mostly, and thus the "ou")  So, here's a few, and if I have time later, you will be sorry....links galor (or is it galour?)...just space them out over a week, 'kay?

 

-Why is my energy bill so high?  Besides the fact that we leave lights on at all hours and have the heat cranked up too high....this could be a contributing factor.

-Hey! look at that jerk talking into a banana, you know, just like a jerk! Har Har, that looks HI-larious. Hey! I wanna talk into a banana, too!

-Mash ups - 50 cent mixed with queen = Q-unit.  I haven't downloaded the mashups yet, but the cd cover with fitty sportin a freddy mercury 'stache is pretty funny

-Make a poster of words and pictures....look, i can't describe it, if words and pictures and poster all interest you, this may be the link for you.

-The NY Times has this great series of articles about being a patient, the most recent one is very interesting, essentially it's about what to do if your doctor is a jerk.

-Tired of poluting the earth with your filth (like a jerk)?  Well, you can't help it, that's just how you are, you filthy polluter.  But these bike lights powered by magnets may help your filthy jerk image.

-Does your cell phone signal die inside your own tomb/apartment?  Well, stop being a jerk, and look into one of these signal boosters ...and tether your cell phone to the antenna! 

 

 

Jackson Rant

Screw you Peter Jackson and your damn entertaining, long ass, orc filled movies...I have better things to do than sit here for eight hours watching your damn hobbitses.....alright, yeah, I don't have anything better to do but c'mon man, let me pretend.

TiVoid

So this weekend, a friend and I were lamenting that while it was great and all to be home with the folks....there was something missing. We missed our TiVos. How many times this weekend did I need to pause my TV? Yes, that's right, two million. The coffee grinder, the dishwasher, the doorbell, my mom yelling something about her insulin....whatever. I need rewind, I need pause, I need fastforward. Stupid reality. Stupid realtime. And I just found out dooce agrees with me. It's a brave new world. [I know it's a complete misuse, however it sounds cool, right?]

Lime

You know you're having a bad day when you plan your day around going to a semi-fast food chain (qdoba) just so you can get some lime wedges for your much needed gin and tonic.
yum.

Slip of the Tongue

Alright, I need a short post, since everything else has been so prolix today.  I was just chuckling to myself remembering a conversation from this weekend.  My friend was talking to my family describing the state of the housing market in Madison.  She was talking pretty fast and accidentally said the word "condoms" instead of "condos".  Honest mistake, nobody really said anything; I did look down and started smiling but I did not make fun of her; I stayed surprisingly well behaved.  However, her personal embarrasment-o-meter must have been off the scale because she stopped mid-sentence, turned BRIGHT red, and then started laughing uncontrollably.  Um, I think THAT made it worse.  So, now my mom thinks my friend is a) a harlot or b) crazy.  But it gets me off the hook, I can totally blame my friend for my mom's recent find in my shaving kit.  She's a bad influence, mom.

More Ranting

See, this is what happens when i'm deprived of a place to vent....especially on a weekend filled with family.  Don't get me wrong, they're great....but too much light makes the baby go blind, so to speak.

 

Rant #361:  Genghis: So, one of my friends came over and was telling my family about a restaraunt that she went to called "Genghis Kahn" that is a Mongolian barbecue style restaurant.  My mom chimes in and says "Oh, you're father and I went to a restaurant like that last month."  And before the conversation started, I knew it would be trouble.  "What was that called, mom?"  I inquired.  My mom thought about it and replied "I think it was called "Janjes"."  "Ganges?" my sister asked.  "No, "jenjis"."  Sigh.  "Mom, was it spelled "G-E-N-G-H-I-S?"  "Yes, I think so"  Defeated, I say "It's pronounced "Genghis" and it's the same place we've been talking about."  and for the next THIRTY MINUTES we argued about whether it was the same place in the same same location; all the meanwhile my mom is repeating "Jenjis", "Janjis", "Jingus"....  Kill Me.  The conversation ended only when my sister pleaded "Oh, please make this stop!"

 

Rant #734:  The Great Mattress Swap 2005: My mom keeps a very tidy home (except for mousepads) and at any moment there are seven perfectly made beds throughout the house (yes, seven; don't ask).  On this particular weekend, we were having a plethora of houseguests which would require the service of ALL of these beds.  Families, and grandmas, and kids...oh my!  But, in order for everyone to be completely comfortable....at least, according to my mom's head....all the beds would have to be rearranged.  Over the course of four hours, my sister and I [under the unyielding fist of my mother] moved 5 of the seven beds [mattress, box spring, headboard, frame] up and down three staircases and reassembled them in their new homes.  Some mattresses were promoted (two twins to a King, hooray!), some were de-moted (sorry pal, you gotta go to the room over the garage); but all in all, the move was satisfactory to almost everyone.  Almost.  I slept on the couch.

 

Rant #921:  Blowing Up:  My parents have this great gas furnace.  Unfortunately, the pilot light always goes out.  If you know my parents, you would know that they think disaster is around every corner.  They are convinced that this thing is going to explode at any second.  I knew this fact when my mom asked me to re-light the pilot light.  What I did not know or notice is that they all left the room for fear of explosion, leaving me there by myself.....but at least they called my sister out of the room because she would be the fastest driver to the hospital.  Thanks for thinking of me guys.

The it guy

No, wait, that's wrong; i've never been the "it"guy. I mean to say "IT guy" [information technology] since whenever I go home, I am inundated with gadget-y requests. This time, I made my family write them down and give me their lists....mostly because I was too lazy to actually LISTEN to their requests [I was watching Bring it On, cut me some slack] but also in the hopes that they will see that their requests are ridiculous:
1) My Sister: who is only four years older than me and has to use computers on a daily basis...she should know everything that I know (my actual computer skills are marginal...as evident in this page) but she chooses not to...she's very smart, went to a high powered all women's school but apparently chooses to play the "i'm dumb" card...it kills me. Her list:
a) buy me a digital slr [subtext: I just bought myself a digital slr, she's jealous...she will have one before the end of the year]
b) buy me a new small digital camera [subtext: I bought her a canon sd400 two years ago, she abused it...hard...and now says it's broken...after further investigation, it seems the battery compartment is loose and she has no idea how to sync it to her computer....then I realize that she has lost the cable that attaches the camera to the computer (she doesn't have a card reader)....it's a key step....this is the SECOND time this has happened and the second ADDITIONAL cable I have given to her (three cables total)]
c) tell me how to sync to itunes [subtext: I bought her an iPod last year...LAST YEAR....and she is still struggling to sync it. The question "What happens in itunes when you plug in your ipod?" was met with a blank stare.
d) i have spyware, get rid of it [subtext: I bought and set this computer up last year for her, the firewall and antivirus have since lapsed subscription. Level of difficulty increase: she didn't bring her computer with her]
e) my printer doesn't print right, why?[subtext: she bought a great printer without consulting me, way to go! But it has eight ink cartridges...bad idea for her. I asked her when she changed the cartridges, she said last week. On further questioning, it was over nine months ago. I openly wept.
f) I set up wireless internet, how do I use it? [WTF?!?! How the hell did you do that? [please see above items for reason for disbelief]. Oh, right, "Bob" did it. Your secret boyfriend that you won't tell us is your boyfriend. I get it. You're 3X years old, grow up. And why don't you ask Bob all these dumbass questions?

2) Mom: very new to computers but is picking things up rapidly. It seems her impetus is keeping up with her friends....she cannot fall behind in the war of forwarding your kids stupid articles and jokes. I'll keep hers brief because she actually asked very reasonable questions and thought through possible solutions. Except for:
a) Why isn't the mouse working?[well, there could be a variety of reasons but the most likely is mechanical. You have a very bad habit of putting food down on the mouse pad, now there are crumbs all over the place. Gross. You yell at me for that anywhere else and the rest of your house is spotless, but apparently it's okay for you to do that only right here. Easy solution: stop eating here. Easier solution [and more likely]: get them an optical mouse.]

3) Dad: oh, dear dad. You SO want to learn everything about computers but don't use them at ALL in your daily life (mind boggling). Mom tells me that you fall asleep in front of your computer because you're too tired after work. I have the same problem, except for the fact that I'm lazy. You don't have time to learn how to use them, I understand; but you need to realize that even though you read about it, you don't need to know how to do it.
a) Why does my palm pilot make a beep every five minutes? [well, if you remember, for fun and example during the summer we decided to have an alarm alert you to your daughter's birthday....on October 26th....it's done, you can turn it off now.]
b) How do I print? [I know all the printer settings are confusing and the submenus are annoying; but if you understand how to do these basic things, you'll build your confidence and knowledge base; just keep practicing]
c) How do I type a letter? [hey, that's a good place to start, I'll leave sticky's on the desktop to tell you where to find microsoft word, etc.]
d) How do I make a powerpoint presentation? [ummm, lets start with the letter and practicing the save and print stuff first, okay?]
e) How do you compile a DVD of pictures we have taken so that you can watch it as a slideshow on the TV? [well, it's great that you're ambitious....again, let's work on the saving files, rearranging files, and syncing your palm]
f) Can we set up a repeater using a pringles can to boost our pre-n signal throughout the house? [who have you been talking to?!? stop that right now]
g) Oh yeah, and dad, the reason your battery keeps dying is because you jammed the power cord into the ethernet port; and it makes me wonder how you're able to turn it on at all. You'll never cease to amaze me.
sorry for the rant. It really was great to see my family again, and I'm sure they're already loading up on questions for the next time they see me.

Back on the Grid

Welcome back to your real life everyone. <sigh>
I cannot, for the life of me, get my ass back in gear today. And an out-of-gear ass is the last thing we all need this morning. Adjusting to life after a long weekend off is proving to be difficult. But at least I'm finally "back on the grid" so to speak, since my parent's house was essentially devoid of internet capabilities [note: I did not say it lacked computer capabilities...more whining to follow]....i was in Michigan, NOT Siberia as one would expect....though you wouldn't know that with the snow, and the sub-zero wind chill, and the kossacks and whatnot. I tried to send two emails this weekend....nuthin doin'....I even poked the goat with an extra sharp stick....nope, still couldn't get the modem to work.
Boy, do I have a busy schedule of web surfing to make up for.

Not Soon

Dear God. Why do you do this to us? Must you always test us in so many ways? Why do you make us go on ridiculously long car trips with friends, then stop traffic for HOURS? What is the point of promising "Open Lane Tolls", especially when it really means "all toll lanes closed"? And why are people such morons? Though, I do thank you (thee?) for allowing us that little bit of road rage....that wonderful bit of entertainment...right in front of our car! Furthermore, you know very well that any more than four hours of consistent contact with a single person makes them realize that I am, in fact, certifiably insane. Well, I think that's the end of that friendship. Oh no? Well, it seems to be the case when one of the passengers says "see you later", the other one immediately replies "Not soon." Dang.

Turkey Time

first real snow
Originally uploaded by puma1.

So, I'm leaving for home today...unfortunately a ten hour drive in front of me. And it looks like the weather won't cooperate, jerk. I may not be blogging from home...dial up and aol...blech. We'll see. I hope everyone has a very good Thanksgiving weekend.

Devout Directions

[obligatory apology to follow] Sorry folks for not blogging for a few days, things have been somewhat busy/boring; so really, since you didn't have to read any of that effluvia, you come out on top.

Last night I was at work FOREVER.  And these little elves decided to have this huge party inside my head....with their rock music and crunk dancing and whatnot.  But anyway, my roommates and I ended up going to dinner.  Afterwards, I came back to work to finish up on some stuff and one of my coworkers asked me where I went.  Now, he's a really great guy but he is tremendously religious (i'm not saying it's a bad thing, I'm just laying the groundwork).  So, I told him what restaurant we went to and he asked "Where's that?".  And I thought about it.....and said "Umm, I don't know"....because having to explain to him that it's right next to a gay bar and the place where they have the caberet burlesque show may not have been so helpful to him.

Backseat Fireplacing

So, my roommate is trying to start a fire....and struggling...(face it dude, you totally are)....and I can't help but give him tips.....it's going to come to fisticuffs soon....

Incessant

Huh, this seems to have changed from a blog into a whine fest....so be it internet...nobody else listens to my bitching, may as well be you....
Today is a really busy day, but because everybody else is so slow, I end up sitting here updating my rss feeds every three seconds.....I have nearly fifty feeds, you'd think there would be something to read....damn you internet.....  I gotta stop taking the crystal meth with my morning coffee [it's a joke, mom]

Funny links
I pity the fool that don't take a left turn here.....GPS systems with celebrity voices....bad idea; i can imagine Fran Drescher screaming at me through a traffic circle....<<shudder>>
Hilarious Link about the thirty things you don't know about chuck norris...... but should

New Ride at Boyne Mountain called the Super G....hear it's a pretty good ride

Dining in the District

Autistic Savant learned Icelandic in seven days, really interesting how his mind works

 

HOW TO section:

Have you ever wanted a megaphone but are too lazy to hold it in your hands?  Or have you thought a megaphone could really spice up your look?  Well look no further...the megaphone helmet is here!

Make your own flash ring for macro or fashion photography

How to make your own digital pinhole camera!

Friday Link-o-rrhea

Alright, so I finished the cookies late last night....don't mix baking and fatigue kids, it's a dangerous thing.  Cookies are the last thing I need at a time when I am trying to eat healthier...whatever, I can say that I'm adding on my "winter weight" [ ed. note: "winter weight" is an excuse for gluttons in the cold climates to eat like shit and not feel guilty about it].

 

- Beautiful paperwork sculptures on this Korean site, it's just beautiful what they make out of that single sheet 
-High Schooler that was able to fold a sheet 12 times
-The fly pen : The new invention by Leapfrog that I mentioned last month, it's finally coming out and looks pretty great
-Vegetarian Thanksgiving: sick of eating the delicious flesh of animals?  Try these alternatives, fatty. 
The 100 dollar laptop finally unveiled: Negroponte's MIT group finally unveils the new laptops....aww, why do rwandan kids get all the fun
The new harry potter movie is out! [ed. note: look, I'm not one of those "check out the sensitive guy cuz he likes children's books and that means that he'd be a great dad and hubby" fuckers; a good story is a good story and the movies are fairly well made and compelling, get off my nuts....and hermione is getting HOT, yo]
Panda cam- you can't stop watching the damn pandas can you?....they are SO ruining your love life. 
pillow fight - in Toronto and Rome last weekend, huge 'net organized pillow fights...if we can't get a zombie mob, these are the next best thing?
fish rights - new laws in Rome (perhaps because of the pillow fights?) that safeguard against animal, namely fish, abuse....my aquarium rejoices. (little do they know, they're not in Rome....)
primate electronics: study in Japan showing that due to electronics, youths have been regressing and are acting more like apes.  i coulda told you that....these kids today....

aluminum foil hats : empirical study about the effectiveness of Aluminum Foil Hats from MIT.  Funny.

TIME magazine's top inventions of 2005 - stupid interface, use the right column to see the others.
get out of best buy screens - want to get kicked out of best buy?  Yeah, me too.  Use this to get past their stupid system so you can surf the web
image editing: very basic but essentially good list of the 8 steps of image editing.

blogging tips: i don't do a single one of these....and i'm too lazy to start....but for all of you non-lazy asses out there

rss guide : helpful guide to RSS and why you should use it. I love my bloglines account...but it's probably not a time saver since I now have 45 feeds....yeah, i know, i suck; and it's the only way i can check wonkette at work...or was it washingtonienne?...no, no, wonkette.

back up blog : how to back up your blog....or in my case, blogssssssss.

"In particular, women appear to have a lower expectation that the cartoon will be funny than men" - A Stanford Study that shows that women laugh more at certain things....which sort of explains why sometimes women laugh at my jokes: Pity.

Katamari Sushi  - katamari craziness continues...beautiful sushi pics; this one is of my favorite roller.

Pictures of the Architectural density of hong kong

So, you wanna make an old timey bike, huh?

Xylothek - library of wood-I had never heard of this before I saw this...people are strange.

drawing flash : flash file that shows an artist going through a drawing of a woman from skeleton to final form, pretty cool.

Damn squirrels: deciphering squirrel speak.

Aurora Photography

iPod Hand

So, if you haven't guessed from the past few posts, it's cold here.  With the new lower temperatures, gloves are required for driving....except I can't use a glove on my right hand....so now it is frozen.  Why, you may ask?  Because my stupid 3G iPod has heat sensitive buttons that can't be pushed with a gloved hand....and even without the glove, my hands are oft too cold to make the buttons work.  Way to go geniuses in Cupertino; if you keep this up, you'll get on my "list". 

smoke on the water

smoke on the water
Originally uploaded by puma1.

Alright, so I had high hopes of blogging tonight; but it's been kind of a clusterfuck tonight. Maybe tomorrow I'll get in all the links I've been saving up this week. There are a bunch...but what else are you gonna do on Friday when you're trying to beat the work-day shot clock?

Subzero

frost
Originally uploaded by puma1.

Well, okay, I'm not sure about that but it was 9 degrees (NINE FUCKIN DEGREES) without windchill. What happened? Dude, we need more firewood.

Mommie Dearest

An Open Letter to My Mother,

 

I hope this letter finds you well.  Yes, yes, I'm sorry I don't call as often as I should.  Yes, I know, she's the better child; I could only hope to be more like her.  No, I did not hear that my cousin got a new TV, that had not hit the streets yet way out here.  Oh really?  Well, that IS something.  Made of red peppers and olives, huh?  That sounds tasty.  Yes, I'll bet that was quite popular amongst your bridge group.

ahem.

Look, mom, I have something that I need to say, sorry to interrupt.  I don't know quite how to say it, so let me finish first.

I appreciate that technology is a wonderous thing.  Almost every facet of my life has been "technified", so to speak.  These days our pockets bulge with the gadgets we've adopted.  And I also do appreciate that you and dad did not grow up with these...without even electricity for that matter.  I know it has been a slow process but you have slowly started to pick up more and more things and I applaud that.  I also recognize that in the "arms race" between you and dad to figure out these machines, you are WAY ahead; bravo.  It's also great that you teach him things about the computer....yes, yes, I know "United we stand, divided we fall"  Great use of the quote, by the way.

But do you really think he's ready for all that technology?  The answer is a resounding "no".  He has made this apparent by his most recent discoveries: the Forward and the [ab]Use of Links.  You must have taught him that, but with this, you need to teach him responsibility.  Over the past week I have received seven emails from dad.  Three of them have no text and have attachments.  Two of the three attachments are Pro-Bush drivel.  The last one is this strange document about Indian independence that doesn't make much sense.  You really should start screening his emails and tell his friends to stop sending him this crap.  The other four emails are links to various sites.  Two concern Abraham Lincoln and the Civil War.  One was about modern philosophy.  And the last one was about Proust.  But they're weird sites, mom.  He really needs to learn to discern his sources.  Like this one for Abraham Lincoln....(why is he sending me that anyway?)....I think it's a joke, but I just can't be sure...it scares me that lincoln looks like he's having a stroke...and it makes me cry to think how long my dad took to 1) find this page 2) deem it sufficiently funny to email 3) figure out how to cut and paste the URL (though I have a sneaking suspicion a pen was involved in writing it down and retyping it).   Please help him.  Or destroy the computer.  I prefer the latter.  Good Luck with all that and thanks.  Good Night.

Everybody Hates

Everybody hates their cellphone. You know it's true. I have not met a single person that likes their carrier, plan, AND their phone. It's crappy technology that they don't even try to improve that much. They can make $100 laptops for Nepalese kids but my fuckin phone can't figure out how to download the damn Notorious B.I.G. ringtone. Jerks. I mean, do you know anyone that likes their phone and carrier? Really?!? Who? Oh, yeah, I forgot you're a liar. I believe your pants are currently on fire, by the way. Either you're lying or this marks the apocalypse.
I knew it, liar.

In the Mix

umbrella
Originally uploaded by puma1.

I'm back from a weekend away. Yup. Back from 80 degrees and sun...to what is known [hatefully] as "wintery mix". Though it sounds fun, it's not as special as you'd think. Well, yeah, the swearing under your breath at the cold is fun. Oh yeah, and your car warming up the instant you get to your destination is fun. And yes, being moist all day is super duper fun. God Bless the Upper Midwest.

Psychological Warfare

Alright. That's it. I work at a carnival. This morning they had what was termed "selective outages"...no power, no computer, no curling iron [couldn't think of anything else that would tug at your pity strings....yes, i think everyone has those, right?]. That's enough to screw the day, right. Nope. Then they decided to test the fire system. The rapidly flashing white lights were charming, really. Almost as charming as how the flashing lights turned the automatic sinks on and off and on and off and on and off [yes, keep repeating for, oh say, about three hours at the speed of Outkasts "Bombs over Baghdad" and you'll get the idea]. But wait, they couldn't stop there. Then the music started. I never knew that Enya put out a Christmas album. Kill Me.

Guess who's gonna puke?

I went to dinner with some friends on Monday.  It was a huge group of people and one of my good friends was there with her boyfriend.  Now, I try to be nice to him....but to put it nicely, I don't get along too well with him at times.  Let's say we have differences of opinion....often....always.  And so it really killed me when my friend cheerily asked me upon my arrival "Guess who's pregnant!?!"

Now, I don't remember the size of the boot that kicked me in the testicles or where the searing hot poker to the eye came from, but apparently the look on my face at that instant was priceless.

 

[PS: It wasn't her.  there is a God] 

Foot in Mouth Disease

If there is a cure to this disease, I need it.  Bad.

Today, while walking down the hall at work, I saw a very vague aquantance.  I don't know her that well and had met her family a long time ago. Since I'm horrible at small talk, the only thing I think to ask is "So, how's your dad doing?"

She looks at me with a half smile and says "He's still dead."

Right.  Forgot about that.

Daylight Savings Trap

Dude, what is up with it getting dark here at three thirty, it's ridiculous. By the time I get home, I feel like i want to crawl in bed. Which would probably be the high point of my day if I did it. However, I've decided a long time ago that my non-working free time is so precious that it can't be wasted on sleep. Which means I'm incredibly tired at all times. Which makes me cranky. And which makes for boring blog posts. Dang. Well, sadly, if I remain as busy I have been, there won't be anything interesting for about a week or so, since I'm going out of town this weekend. We'll see.

Links
Puma's super awesome new hoodie....you would look so badass in this
Similarly, lets get dressed in mexican wrestling outfits, it's high art
Still more on video games: Katamari Artists
and this wired article that discusses emotion and gaming
very good article by david pogue on how companies can work to not piss off customers
Mcsweeney's lists: why bloggers hate mainstreem media (msm)
Find your bandwith hog programs with "Who's connected"
Cool AT-AT game cube mod
Want to tell yourself in twenty years that you totally "sold out" and that you really loved watching laguna beach in '05? Send yourself an email
Best price comparison sites [according to pcmag]
Small budget photography
Phoneswarm: i swear last week was the phone on my officemate's desk
50 greatest independent films
Dysfunctional family letter generator

Pretty funny URLs (not the sites, but the URLs themselves...read them a few times and you'll get it)

Firstly there is Who Represents?, a database for agencies to the rich and famous: http://www.whorepresents.com/
Second is the Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views: http://www.expertsexchange.com/
Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island: http://www.penisland.net/
Need a therapist? Try: http://www.therapistfinder.com
And there is an Italian Power company: http://www.powergenitalia.com/
Finally we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales: http://www.molestationnursery.com/

Well, hopefully you can chew on these for a while. Good luck.

How to Lose Respect in Nine Words or less

In my semi-new job, I have been put in a upper managerial position of sorts. At certain times, there are several people under my supervision that we consider our "team". I am new and have worked really hard to be fair, good natured, and yet professional. It has been a challenge to gain the respect of the staff and employees here since they know me mostly from my previous position "lower in the ranks". But things have been great, I am not hated [yet], and I really feel like I've earned the respect of my colleagues and coworkers.
That is, until my roommate bursts into a meeting and asks "Hey, how did you beat that Colossus last night [on playstation]??!!?
Great.

Monday Morning Quarterback

Going to bed....a full day of nothing. great. I'll be productive tomorrow, I swear.

Very cool art project by german art students using a mac mini, a suitcase, a projector, and the subway.

Colossus

Yeah, so ever since I got hom from work today, all three of us have been sitting here playing "shadow of the Colossus". It's awesome...it's fairly simple but addictive. We've laughed, we've cried, we've gasped....but mostly we've yelled "dude, shut the fuck up, i know how to play, alright?!!?" Who brought this into our apartment? Oh right, I did. Sorry.

Links
Video games: Article by an economist that says if movies last as long as games, they'd be 13 billion dollars to make. We know that's true.
Video game titles that make more sense: Example: Katamari Damacy has been changed to "Magically Adhesive Ball of Garbage"
The one hour dry erase cock.
Things to do when you're bored
for later

Dude...something's on your car

so dude...I'm tryin to play it cool and all....but, I'm not sure if you know that there is a huge fucking hawk on your car. Why are you so oblivious? You've gotta hear that dude's talons ripping into steel....he is so gonna claw your eyes out.....and i'm sorry, i am gonna love every second of it.

Link:
very random guide to "dropping the kids off" at work

Plantz

So, here are the previously requested plants in all their glory...yeah, i need something else to take pictures of....

Oops....

Sorry, forgot to post the link to the crack-like game that I cannot beat 20.912 seconds on it and it is driving me crazy and if i continue to play this game iamgoingtostarttoseeboxesmoving allovertheplaceandtheykeepgettingfasterandigetsostressedbyitthatyoucanhearmeswearingundermybreatheverytimei gethit

Tally

There are a bunch of things that I need to do every day. Exercise. Eat at home. Taking pictures with my new Camera. Blog. Hydrate. Check plants. Feed fish.
So, I've been better than usual today:
Eat at home: check! Got the reflux to prove it.
Exercise: yup. kinda lazily, but i'll count it
Pics with my new Cam: yep, took picks of my plants...for the fortieth day in a row...hey, the plants are checked, too
Fish have been been fed: filet mignon
Hydrate: only two glasses, gotta pick that up
Blog: you're looking at it
Yeah, things were going great...until I found this....i can't let go of this damn red box.....

iSuck

man, what a crap day. All sorts of excitement all day, savin people's butts all day, etc. And in the end I'm brought to my knees by a damn Now and Later stuck in my teeth. Brilliant.

Friday Linkage

Well, as stated earlier and also on your calendar, today is friday.  What better way to while away the last few hours of your work week (well, technically I work all weekend) with some linksies since I prolly won't post anymore today:

 

-Getting mates with song.  Apparently mice sing for sex.  After hearing our rendition of "Redemption Song" the other night, it's no wonder we sleep alone.

-New study shows that the higher the estrogen, the "prettier" you are....doesn't work in my case.

-Nude Brits shop while drunk.  Nuf said about this article from the Register.  I have done neither....no, really.

-Awesome, I finally found the jellyfish tank I've been looking for!

-Ugh.  I thought I needed to eat healthier, this guy is in trouble...and gross.  The $50 heart stopper sandwich.  [vegetarians beware, it will make you want to eat meat...right NOW]; caution, there have bee reports that this site has tried to install malware, so click on it behind a firewall.

-Similarly, for all those vegetarians that want meat now...BEEF PANTIES.  (read the first line of this article....they're being recalled)

-Only in Arkansas - a man wrestles a dear to death in his bedroom.

-Awesome: a halloween re-creation of thriller

-From McSweeneys: responsible Spam, excerpt: "Can't SATISFY your woman? Perhaps the two of you should sit down and discuss the issue."  

-Very cool gift box templates

-From awhile ago: bananaguard....um, don't you think one of these might look strange on your desk?

-Hipster T-Shirt generator.

-Cute: beagles crossed with pugs = puggles

-9Volt USB Charger - how to make a portable charger for your USB powered devices.  So Rad.

Office Space

So, one of the big reasons that I haven't been posting as much is because I have a new office mate.  And because of that, I have to at least ACT busy, right?  But what happens when your officemate catches you staring at your computer, giggling, and playing with this (safe for work, not for your dignity).  Great.  Now he knows I'm an idiot.

Sore

Not much to report on from yesterday, I'm a little sore from exercising yesterday....yeah, I just heard about this exercising thing, apparently it's good for you.  Meh.   

It's Friday.  Woohoo.  I wish I had some "big doins'" going on but I really got nothin.    There's a hoe-down at the general store tonight and this afternoon, I may head down to the mercantile for my knitting circle; oh yeah, and prolly some fishin at old man Jedediah's fishin hole, I reckon.  I don't know what my problem is, sorry; I need more sleep maybe.

 

Links

 

-Web content being published at an alarming rate.  One in 5 teens has a blog.

-I'm not sure intel's new ad series "Entertainment in your Lap" was well advised....did they think about what that sounds like?

 

Hegemon

I was reading this interesting article in Slate Magazine and it got me thinking about the obesity problem in America (and in the world, for that matter).  First of all, I'll say flat out that I may sound really ignorant and biased in my opinions because I honestly haven't put alot of effort into researching the topics; I come from the background of my training and thats all I really know.  The article discusses the politics of fat and they are tremendously more complex than I ever thought.  It explains that there is a growing civil rights movement amongst obese communities.  Like any movement there are a number of groups that have formed to champion these rights.  And I agree that EVERYONE should be treated equally and fairly and I also agree that obesity in America is seen as social stigma.

          What I do not agree with, however, is some of the ideas set forth by these groups.  One of them is that obesity is no fault of the individual but rather because of genetics and society.  Granted, overconsumption is an inherent part of our society, and I realize that genetic makeup plays a role.  However, the trend toward blaming others and hiding behind our genetic code in lieu of taking personal responsibility is ridiculous.  We harm our bodies all day and expect someone else to clean up our mess.  You can't forget to pump gas in your car (or even worse, put sugar in your tank) and expect it to run smoothly always....and if things go wrong, you can't say that "society" drove me to leave my tank empty because of oil prices or my tank was empty because the make/model of my car wasn't designed to hold a million gallons.  [hmmm, contrived metaphor, sorry].

There is gaining drive amongst these civil rights groups toward regarding obesity not as a disease, but a distinct minority group.  But that doesn't make complete sense to me....probably since I think it IS a disease.  I don't see how anyone can argue that obesity isn't harmful.  Study after Study has shown the benefits of weight loss and the harms of increased weight and overconsumption.  I feel obesity needs to be pathologized because it IS a problem, akin to alcoholism or other addictions.  I do completely understand that people are made to feel badly about their weight and that is where the social difficulty is.  Fat may be beautiful, but you can't argue that fat is healthy.   I think there is a huge difference between wanting fair treatment and wanting distinct minority status (especially since overweight people make up the majority now).  I find it ridiculous that people are saying "wanting to be thin [for an obese person] is like a black person wanting to be white."  I think these groups are misguided and their practices could be very dangerous. 

Alright, I'll get off my soapbox, I just thought it was an interesting article and thought I would comment.  Let me know if you think I'm way off base.

Songs of Freedom

My roommates and I are singing a rousing rendition of Redemption song. Awesome.

Get off your horse

Alright, that's it, I'm gonna eat healthy(er). No really, I swear this time. I'm cashin in my ghetto booty for um...something better. Stop laughing. Really.

Ears are burning

So...who out there is talking about me?  Aww shucks, stop it guys....Cuz my left ear is burning like crazy today.  I've spent all day falling to the left and being constantly dizzy....people think I'm drinking again.  There was one point that I couldn't lift my head off the desk today... Woohoo, this is fun....except for the puking part...that kinda sucks.  And I let my students examine me until I fell and almost vomitted on them.  Talk about dedication!  Ugh, this has got to get better soon.  Actually, I feel much better now than when I woke up this morning, so I have that going for me.  I wonder if I shouldn't drive?  Yeah, whatever, it can't be worse than when I drink and drive.

Review: Thumb Sucker

When trying to convince my roommates to go to see a movie this past Sunday, I remember describing Thumbsucker as a coming of age movie about a kid that sucks his thumb with Keanu Reeves in it.  And they still came.  But I think we all actually really enjoyed it.  Director Mike MIlls uses a restrained camera style and color palette to shape his scenes that have been described by other critics as aimless.  But I think the reason that "Thumbsucker" is entertaining and easy to get into is that Mills doesn't force an obvious resolution to his scenes.  Though it is true that the movie lacks a dramatic climax, there are numerous clever and humorous plot points and interesting characters [my favorite is the little brother with the foulest mouth in the movie].  His role models are ridiculous [D'Onofrio, Reeves, Vaughn, Bratt] and each one outdoes themselves in showing their flaws.  It's an interesting look at growing up ordinary and odd...all it needs is Danny Glover saying "I'm too old for this sh*t".

Braggadocio

Look, you know it and I know it, we're all huge showoffs.  Everything we do is to make someone think we're cooler than we really are.  An article today in the Guardian talks about how people often carry two books while traveling, one for show and one that they actually read.  I found that very interesting and it got me thinking about Flickr, blogs, etc.  I mean, we "set design" our houses to some extent hoping that somebody will notice your amazingly diverse and impressive book collection or your clever and hip music collection.  We write these blogs, sometimes for a point, sometimes to vent, but always [well, usually] with the secret hope of expanding our audience.  We talk about nothing in particular but hope that someone notices our unique qualities whether it be clever, or smart, or funny, or brash.  And I'll admit that I'm guilty here on this blog and with my Flickr account, too.  I want people to notice when I take a cool picture and am a little hurt if nobody looks at the ones I think are great.  I do understand that it's neat to share with friends, but secretly [or perhaps not so secretly] we want a wider audience.  We want people to notice that our parties are hardier, our friends are cooler, and our sunsets are...um...sunsettier than theirs.  We want to be cool.  We're creating new ways to network socially: flickr, friendster, myspace, craigslist, etc.  But do we ever meet these people?  Is it just so we can say we "know" someone across the world?  Does it ever culminate in physical meeting?  Or is physicality a thing of the past? (I know for me it is...not by choice)  Are these interactions fulfilling?  Is it just a byproduct of our reliance on computers?  Or is the internet just another forum for showing off?  Is art considered showing off?  We want people to appreciate the beauty or poignancy of whatever piece we make, but why?  Fame? Wealth? Recognition?

Could this post be any more pretentious?  With twelve questions in a row?  What is my problem?  Gotta go, later?

 

More Links:

Toponymic map

A dot for every second of the day.

Bore-ing

Man, I've had four cups of coffee today and my stomach is PISSED.  Unfortunately, even after four cups, I'm still drowsy.  Which makes me wonder what I was thinking when I went out last night.  And it was kind of a strange show last night, I thought it was going to be the live karaoke (with a live band rather than a recording).  But it ended up being a political rally for ....um....god knows what.  With a little song and dance thrown in.  And some burlesque.  Oh yeah, and zombies.  And sock puppets.  Hmm, you'd think that'd add up to something good....strangely it didn't.  Perhaps they needed monkeys, that usually does it.  The funniest part was when the guy that suggested this strange show leaned over and sheepishly and apolegetically said " All I wanted was to hear some music"  Sad.

 

 

Hmmm, things are busy, maybe I'll post some links rather than ramble philosophically:

McSweeney's Rejected Bond girls

Sick of Napolean dynamite yet? Well, show it with this Anti-pedro campaign

Urban model railroad.

Scientific proof of how to fix a wobly table

Why wasn't the hippo roller thought of decades ago?  Helping transport water in third world countries

Worst jobs in Science, I'm sure mine should be on there

How to....how to do a bunch of things on the internet; actually, this is a fairly useful list of various things you can do on the web