Small Hands, Smells of Cabbage

Grrrrrr.  Okay, yeah, it was my fault.  I knew I couldn't carry both a cup of coffee and yogurt cup in one hand.  But why couldn't it have been the closed yogurt cup that decided to shoot out of my hand and slam into my chest?  Stupid coffee.  Now I have to lick my shirt and tie for caffeine.  And I hope that's spilled coffee warming my...ummm...crotchular region....otherwise, I need to go change.  This day is starting stupendously....