Indiapendence

So, a couple of weeks ago was the anniversary of India's independance. Yesterday, my mom sends me this forward of the 8th degree about india's independence (note: strangely, it was forwarded to my mom from one of her most non-indian racist friends). But it's a tally of all the accomplishments that Indians have done; it's actually pretty interesting. [italics are my additions]

There are 3.22 millions of Indians in USA (1.5% of population). YET,

38% of doctors in USA are Indians. Of those, 36% became doctors because their mom made them.
12% scientists in USA are Indians.
36% of NASA scientists are Indians. They are also the ones blamed for the columbia disaster, jerks.
34% of Microsoft employees are Indians. all of whom wish they worked for google now. Their mothers are surely disappointed
28% of IBM employees are Indians.
17% of INTEL scientists are Indians.
13% of XEROX employees are Indians.


Did you know the following facts about India.

1. Hero Honda with 1.7M motorcycles a year is now the largestmotorcycle manufacturer in the world.

2. India has the largest movie industry inthe world, producing over 800 movies a year. Most of them are Pauly Shore vehicles.

3. Bharat Forge has the world's largest single-location forging
facility, its clients include Honda, Toyota and Volvo amongst others. It is run and staffed by eight year olds.

4. India is the 2nd largest tractor manufacturer in the world. Yet a surprisingly small amount of the population of hipsters wear mesh backed John Deere hats.

5. India is the 5th largest commercial vehicle manufacturer in the world. And by vehicle, they mean rickshaw.

6. Ford has just presented its Gold World Excellence Award to India's Cooper Tyres. These were also the tires responsible for the Ford Explorer debacle. Way to go.

7. 80 of the Worlds 117 SEI CMM Level-5 companies are based in India. They made this up, there is no such thing as SEI CMM Level 5 companies, it just sounds cool.

8. Five Indian companies recently received the globally acclaimedDeming prize. This prize is given to an organization for rigorous total quality management (TQM) practices. The prize includes free car washes for a year and a giant box of cascade dishwashing detergent

9. Fifteen of the world's major Automobile makers are obtaining components from Indian companies. And by "components", they mean
"slave labor"

10. World-renowned TQM expert Yasutoshi Washio predicts that Indian manufacturing quality will overtake that of Japan in 2013. Or it already has but they asked a guy named Yasutoshi, what'd they expect?

11. McKinsey believes India's revenues from the IT industry will reach $87 Billion by 2008. That's in Rupees, which is the equivalent of three dryer sheets.

12. India is one of the world's largest diamond cutting and polishing centres, its exports were worth $6 Billion in 1999. About 9 out of 10 diamond stones sold anywhere in the world, pass through India. They exit India in the rectums of our finest exported programmers.

13. India's INSAT is among the world's largest domestic satellite communication systems. Soon the robots will rule us all.

14. India is among six countries that launch satellites and do so even for
Germany, Belgium, South Korea,Singapore and EU countries. I got nothin

15. India is among the 3 countries in the World that have built Supercomputers on their own. The other two countries being USA and Japan. The computer is still working on figuring out the exact delay period of India Standard Time.

16. India is providing aid to 11 countries, writing-off their debt and loaning the IMF $300M. Again, these are in Rupees, and Bhutan needs to do their laundry

17. It is estimated that there are 150,000 IT professionals in Bangalore as against 120,000 in Silicon Valley. And at Halo, the Indian dudes could totally destroy the Silicon Valley guys.

18. There are about 200 call centers in India with a turnover of $2 billion and a workforce of 150,000. And everyone's name there is Peter.

19. 100 of the Fortune 500 companies are now present in India compared to 33 in China. Awesome, theres WAY more expoloitation in India than China.

20. Indias telecom infrastructure between Chennai, Mumbai and Singapore, provides the largest bandwidth capacity in the world, with well over 8.5 Terabits (8.5Tbs) per second. How many of these are there? I'm tired
of thinking of stupid clever things to say after these. I should have thought this through more.

21. With more than 250 universities, 1,500 research institutions and 10,428 higher-education institutes, India produces 200,000 engineering graduates and another 300,000 technically trained graduates every year. Besides, another 2 million other graduates qualify out in India annually. Their mothers are proud and actively looking for husbands/wives for all of them.

22. The Indian Institute of Technology (IIT) is among the top three universities from which McKinsey & Company, the world's biggest consulting firm, hires most. The other two schools must be DeVry and Photon School of Welding.

23. 35% of Silicon Valley start-ups are by Indians. So wait, does the Silicon Valley count from above count these guys? Why must we have brother on brother crime?

24. Indian students are the largest in number among foreign students in USA. All of them apparently go to Northwestern.

25. Ramayana,the first Indian epic consisting of 24,000 verses divided into 7 books, is regarded as the first poetical work in the world. It is thought that Shakespeare and Tupac both stole from these works.

26. Mahabharatha with 100,000 two-line stanzas, is regarded as the Longest Epic in world literature. Henny Youngman later turned much of these into hilarious one liners; pure comedy gold.

27. The Indian pharmaceutical industry at $6.5 billion and growing at 8-10% annually, is the 4th largest pharmaceutical industry in the world, and is expected to be worth $12 billion by 2008. Hashish-itol is their biggest seller.

28. Mobile phones are growing by about 1.5Million a month. Long distance rates are down by two-thirds in five years and by 80% for data transmission. Which means that millions of Indians can now be "That Guy" that talks loudly in restaraunts or in their Autorickshaws.


Pshew, that was longer than I remember. Remind me never to try to be annoyingly clever again. I mean no disrespect to my heritage or the Indian people by my comments.