Automaton

Alright, I have to go to work in a few hours but i'm not really sleepy, so two short clips about cars:

1) My car [Hana] recently had her right rear tail-light smashed by some SUV or truck drivin' insecure ass hat [i will be of that group soon]. So, every time I hit the breaks, I can see her right thigh scream in a flash of nekkid white light....it hurts me to see her degraded like that. But I went to get her fixed today and one of the fellas told me a story of pure evil; here it is: He said several years ago, he worked in food service [editors note: it is not a good sign to have a mechanic who previously worked food service...it just seems like a poor prognostic indicator] and parked his truck for delivery. To his dismay, he returned to his truck and found a huge gash gouged into its side. Distraught, he found a note tucked under the windshield wiper that read "All the people that witnessed this accident think I'm writing my information down. I ain't. C Ya" [sic]
That has got to be one of the most evil shit I ever heard....

2) On a completely random note, I saw a strange vanity plate today [why are there so many vanity plates?...yes, I know you "luv bcky" or are a "pckr bckr", fuck off]. The plate was on an alero that read "ASSCLWN"....first of all, aren't they supposed to screen profanity? and second, what the hell does that mean? Does he mean ass clown, as in "no talent ass clown"? or is he broadcasting his sensual preference? You don't see me with plates reading "ped0ph1l" or "vgnl dl8r". well, okay, in a perfect world it would, sure. However, in reality my plates say "America's Dairyland". Aww fuckin kill me.