Darwinning

Where did i go so wrong? Most of the time I'm pretty pleased with myself for the most part; however, this morning was one of those times that I'm not quite sure where things went so poorly. I think perhaps it was that week in college that I wore my swimming trunks instead of underwear. Or perhaps it was the time I decided to use dishwashing detergent when i ran out of laundry detergent. No,maybe earlier, when I mixed hairspray, magnesium filings, and kerosene together and put them in my supersoaker [very cool, but bad idea]. No, probably it was the time I "accidently" got vaporub in places where vaporub should NOT be.

However, waking up at three thirty this morning on my weight bench has to be a particularly interesting turning point. Not too bad you say? No, I agree, just a little weird; i got too ambitious yesterday after a long day. No, that'd be fine, if that were it. But when I woke up, all groggy (it's three thirty, fer chrissakes) I felt odd. Hmm, strange sensation. Was it my back ache from sleeping on a board? Part of it, but something else.... I got up to go to the bathroom, but can't use it. I'm trying....but I can't. Slight panic. I can barely move my arms.

oh, i get it.....

brilliant.

I fell asleep on a ten inch board with my arms hanging off the sides with little circulation for a few hours.....

way to go.

Maybe let's escape into the internet with a few jumps, I've been neglecting them recently:

Popa Bawa : my nickname in high school - apparently it's the name of a bat-like molester in Zanzibar.....huh, maybe they should use vaporub

Doctors know things - well, at least that's what i like to think - a new york times article about doctor/patient relationships; i think it essentially says that doctors are better at guessing.

the Gumball 3000- Cannoonball Run comes alive - i think quentin tarantino and Daryl Hannah are racing one of the cars

For the Vegetarians: so...you think yer too good for hamburgers, huh? Well, maybe you'll change your mind after you read this blog about hamburgers

Super cool idea about secret wall art: I had a similar idea of writing things on rental car seat belts (you pull it out far, it will something like "hey fatty, lose some weight" [sorry it's mean] or "you don't want to know what happened in the seat you're strapping yourself into" Okay, this is much cooler than my idea.

The Big O (no, not overstock.com and their...umm....arousing ads)- Another NYT article; this one is about the usefullness of female orgasm evolutionarily. So, it ain't my fault, girl, if i can't make it happen, i mean i gots a billion years of evolution all up in my grill. I'm pretty sure that premature evacuation is an evolutionary advantage....which may be a problem for ....um....other dudes.

Photoshop tools for relationships: McSweeney gives a list of useful photoshop tools for a relationship....my favorite: blur more and undo.

Krump dancing - kickass looking documentary about a dancing style that ...came out of the LA riots?!!? whatever, it's pretty rad, yo.

Diane Arbus at the Met- she's great, so if you happen to be in new york this weekend, go see it.