Holeeeee Sheeeeeit

Let me tell you a story about my lunch today...there was an outdoor patio and some friends and some food, then a car race, up on a curb, running red lights, two needles in the leg, a sprint to the .....oh wait, i'm getting ahead of myself, sorry.

So....I had some students working with me for the past month and I thought it would be nice to treat them to a nice end of the lunch place. My compatriot picked a great place close to work [thank god], with a beautiful patio. We ordered, and started eating a delicious meal. We're eating, talking trash, and having an overall good time.....when one of the students pipes up and quietly inquires "Are there nuts in any of these?"

oh shit.

I back up from the table and am halfway to my car with him close in tow. We jump in my car and i tear out of there. "I'm doing okay" he squeaks with a voice raspier than i've ever heard it. Fuck. Traffic. Calm left turn, then another....then one more....headed in the right direction now.

A quick glance over tells me things aren't good. Is he gaining weight? Fuck again. "How are you doin man?" He hesitates. Fuck fuck. Okay....time to speed up. A bus lane here, a bike lane there...a curb, a shoulder, 75 in a 25...is that bad? Slalom through cars, then running a red light, up a back alley, and into the urgent care.

"Epi, NOW"

shuffle, shuffle, shuffle....alright, if there is one time that I need speed, people, it's right now. Luckily, a tired friend lends a hand. One shot in the leg.... sweet.

wait.

shouldn't it work by now?

Another one.....shouldn't it work by now?!?

Fuck once more.

"Get in a wheelchair"....partially on two wheels, we make it next door to the ER. Luckily, we get a great guy. He whispers "Do you want to intubate your friend?" Fuck that. But they give him the works....and over the next few guilt ridden hours, his breathing returns to normal.

my sphincter finally loosens.

I came waaaay too close to killing a friend today. brilliant.

I need a drink.

Second Coming

So, this morning I realized that i may be the Messiah.....well, no, actually I wasn't the one that originally came up with that.  It was the woman that screamed "JESUS!" as i careened around the corner driving to work, almost flattening her precious labrador.  oops.

Take a Letter, Maria

Ugh....I have this reggae song in my head....and it doesn't help that I listen to it every day...and it is constantly running through my head....and "Private Dancer" cannot force it out!  The horror! (though, the Trojan box sets it comes off of are ALL remarkably good)

 

I was going to blog for a few minutes, but it seems I have squandered all of my time coughing up an aspirated plum particle. 

 

I live a sad life.  Cough.  Chortle.  Gasp.

cluster

oops...at it still....just read an article in the NYT about doctors and apologies. Sometimes what seems "duh" to me, apparently isn't so obvious to others, so there you go.

However, i will comment that the picture in the story is confusing....most stethoscopes can't talk....and if they did, they wouldn't be saying "sorry"....they'd probably be saying "take a bath, dawg."

More Lynx

Hey, sorry for the deluge of links...i haven't had this much time in a while....so here it goes:

 

If someone may or may not be moving to D.C.:

washington area bicyclists association

D.C. Bicyclist rules and program

DC Velo cycling team with biweekly (?twice weekly) rides

Atlantic cycling club - don't know anything about this but seems geographically reasonable.

Babes on Bikes - misnomer...sorry, just kidding, i know i'm going to hell.  A female cycling group but unfortunately is during week days

Bike shops in the area.

city bikes

Revolution

spokes

REI 1 and 2 and others but i don't know that geography

And the best site (i read gothamist and chicagoist regularly....yes, sometimes i wish i lived in the city) http://www.dcist.com/  it has a bajillion links along the left side for blogs/arts/food/newspapers/tv stations/bus schedules/photos/etc...and of course a link to wonkette)

Hypomanic

Wassup blogophiles? Que Paso? So, sorry it's been a while since I blogged, it's been kind of a busy time. Not really from work....mostly from my sybarite lifestyle right now. There was a fantastic party this weekend...maybe some pics?...nope, those'll go to flickr. Wait...didn't I say "more later" for Intonation, too? Oops.

Last night I was completely hypomanic/manic and had a flurry of activity. To catalogue for my roommate (he has already received an email with a partial list/explanation...the mania continues):
1) TiVo is fully operational
2) Harmony remote is also operational and now controls the cd player, the receiver, the tivo, the tv, the cable box, the dvd player (need to get an s-video cable), and ipod....I love that remote.
3) Swapbox is set up and now I can watch the daily show from work?...haven't figured that out yet
(TiVo for "time shifting" and swapbox for "place shifting"....does that make me a superhero or time traveller or something?)
4) Aquarium is about 75% set up...need to get two reflux valves, more down-tube airstone sticks (I cannot find those to save my life)
5) Set up a 3M Command Hook in the bathroom for my towel...unfortunately the one in the shower was only rated to 3lbs and it was carrying about 8-10...it did well...for about 20 days...new hooks today!
6) Today I get to put up the curtain rods and take off my closet doors. I'll also rearrange my closet

Sorry, so the above was completely unnecessary, but I don't have a pen and needed to write down a to-do/shopping list for this afternoon, sorry to abuse the internet in this way.

Links:
A birds eye view map of downtown DC: i love these types of maps and maybe somebody might be moving to d.c. at some point.
http://birdseye.octo.dc.gov/main.html

The Japanese are crazy, their condoms prove it

are more expensive beds better? nope, according to this.

Hybrid on google maps! Exactly what I've been waiting for. I wrote them an email when satellite first came out to make the hybrid view, so now i take full credit for it.

Widgets on Yahoo! Free! mostly useless, but some are great. I paid for these not too long ago. dang.

Hmmm. Rebranding. I love coke, I hate their empire. I love new design...especially from MK12, R&T McKay, and The Designers Republic....torn.

Dorks of the world unite in arms with this laser sighted pencil launcher

Rad concept...performance contacts by nike

Whoa, today's gonna be a long day...got 23 more ways to tie my shoes

I love craigslist...here's how it changed NYC

T-shirts...apparently they're popular or something.

Sorry for the link-orrhea, it's been a while

Torn

So, you know how I'm....a pirate?  Yeah, well, according to this article on BBC, pirate numbers are sharply falling.  That's troubling.  Very troubling.  What are the decemberists going to write about?  Who are going to sing shanties?  Who will support the rum industry?  Who will keep the ninja population at bay? (I mean, I'm also ten ninjas....see?  it's already out of hand).

 

Robots are Rad...and now they can ride camels....cool....they don't whine when you make them ride for six hours straight, or go crying to their mother because you made them eat sand for dinner...lousy brats.

 

Square america: preserving america's old photos; i love to see the way people lived and dressed.  I also try to imagine making out with/fighting them.

 

Clown commandments.  #1 and #3 blow it for me.  every clown i've ever known has broken those two, including you Ass Clown.

 

too smart for me...chess960

 

Gorrilaz and the Automator.  You're source sux (and is ethnocentric.  keep the asian man down and out)

 

 

Two types

I believe that there are two types of people. Those that leave their house/car windows open when they aren't there, and those who don't. I think that this should be a basis of a class system. The people who do leave their windows open should be forced into servitude to those who don't. If there are any of you "openers" out there, I think you are stupid and do not deserve the same rights as me. Racism is dumb, this "openism" is logical. And if I have to hear one goddamn more story about how "I left my windows open in my car and now I'm sooooo soaked cuz i went out to shut them and my Linda Rondstadt tape is all ruined and my kleenex cozy is all bloated and oh dear why did i leave my birth certificate on the front seat and my goodness why doesn't dell make waterproof laptops for this very occasion and how am i going to get all the water out of my ashtray so i can cram in another pack of Kool Menthol butts...blah blah blahq" alright, sorry, so i'm a little cranky after the little bit of rain we had this am.

Links!
Google maps: to commemorate the moon landing, Google moon! It shows all the sites of previous missions with crew listings and if you zoom in all the way, you can see what the surface is made of.

Photos: a new, as yet unfinished collaboration of a variety of museums to put photography on the web at photomuse.org; the site is not done yet, but should be pretty great.

New article on reggaeton, the latino rap movement in the nyt.

An article about INTONATION in the NYT! Hey, how come there's no pictures of me? Oh yeah, i have to post about still...i know, get off my back.

One more thing...

I forgot to mention that this BIGGEST thing this weekend was that my roommate moved in....he was upset that he was pre-empted by TiVo. He shouldn't, most people would.

Big Weekend

Hey all.

So this weekend was BIG.  Rilly big.  And I am tired.  A whole slew of things happened over the weekend; but the most important of which is that we have cable!  And more importantly, broadband again!  Yay!  So now i can sit at home wasting my time on the net, rather than at work.  I'll have to write about all of this later, but the big events from this weekend (into this week):

 

1) New Cable

2) New TiVo

3) New Logitech Harmony remote

4) New Swapbox

5) New cool tv (thanks to B)

6) ?New receiver (Come on M, get it set up, yo)

7) Re-installed my cyclocomputer

8) Taking down my closet doors and putting up curtains

9) INTONATION 2005!!! Just got back from Chicago!  Awesome time but HOT. Pics later.  And the T-shirts, oh my.

10) Cleaning up the new pad

 

 

Links:

Birds mimic cell phone rings now; just great.

 

Morrissey the musical: a stage adaptation of smith's songs....god bless america.

 

NYT style editor writing smack in the style column about her nanny after reading her blog; her nanny's response on her blog

 

Like Sailors: Counting the number times for the word F*ck in a movie; i love the wiki.

 

How cycling teams work

 

I can't think of my favorite word.  I like Zeitgeist.

 

Popping a water balloon in space.  space is so rad.

 

 

Reconsider

So, though I try not to be judgemental...I pretty much usually am. One of the guys I'm a little harsh with is Robbie McEwan with Davitamon-Lotto; he's opinionated...which can make him see kinda assholi** (damn, i can never get those asterixs right...does that mean he's an assholic?). However, his comments after his stage 13 win are actually really kind of nice:

"You saw who did the work today," stage winner McEwen said, blowing champagne kudos to his team.

"Today wasn't about me. It wasn't about my third win [McEwen also had sprint wins in stages five and seven]. Today was about Davitamon-Lotto." [kinda weird that he had to mention his third win, though.]

"What my teammates did today was absolutely incredible. To bring back nine minutes on day 13 of the Tour, when everybody is tired... It was an absolutely incredible effort."

Anyway, sorry about the quick judgement, it looks like you're alright when you need to be.

The Next Tab Phenomena

So, I monitor this "blog" (or "wiary"=web diary because it sounds just as pretentious and annoying as blog) using myweblog.com and it's just fun to see where people go...no wait, don't leave, it's not as "1984" as it seems...I pretty much know who the two people that read this are. Anyway, I find that the biggest hit is the "Next Blog" tab....and for good reason...that thing is more addictive than crack. There must be some morbid fascination in seeing that the site that briefly rubs shoulders with your site, whether it's some jacked up 12 year old girls manga site or some very bizarre, repetitive insurance marketing site. We are, by nature of the internet, lurkers and voyeurs. But it's fun and if people are willing to show themselves, i'm willing to look. So check out us freakshows...

White Lightning

Is today done yet? dang.

I had a revelation at work the other day. Do you want to hear it? Hear it is: If I'm at work....and alone....I can listen to music! Crazy, right? Well, it's the first time I've had an office, so there you go. I am COMPLETELY addicted to Picaresque, the most recent Decemberists album....just like I was completely addicted to "Castaways.." and "In her majesties..." their previous two albums. I am so pumped to see them in Chicago this weekend at Intonation. I just wish I could leave to get some food at the Green Zebra two blocks away. yum. Stupit no re-entry policy.

Anyway, I'm killing time before I leave. I think I have to wait here all day. Oh well. I can spend it probing the firewall limitations here at work. Good links for today:
"One shot, one kill": Completely sick but pretty fun flash game about russian roulette

a bunch of music blogs i found this morning:
Moodist
Chromewaves
Largehearted Boy
Stereogum

And this site is really humorous excerpts of hyperbole from music reviews:
The Shins will change your life (I love the url too)

Pity

Look, I know I'm no ladies man. That's the way it's been all my life and I'm fine with that. But I do have some mild form of common sense and self appreciation. As I go through life, I realize that there are alot of people who lack this.

For example, after being cornered this morning by a colleague, the conversation took an unexpected and completely unwelcomed personal tone. Aww crap, if we start talking about feelings again I'm gonna try to swallow my tongue again (it's harder than you think; I've been in this situation before and have tried it, I know).

And we [he] talks and talks about his recent break up, the feelings of despair afterwards, but now he feels the uplifting hope and freedom he has now come to enjoy. Ugh. Where did I pack that gun? oh right, don't have one...yet. Doesn't he have any insight into this? Can't he see that these tears are not of sympathy but pain? And then he starts making all these pseudo sexual statements that just sound awful. Like how he's going to take up swing lessons to meet some ladies and the bonus was "you can hold them real close" [sic]. Followed by how he can't be resisted in his spandex cycling wear. Yep, sure pal. Though I can't tell if that's nausea or desire I feel....i always mix those up. better gp.

Double Vision

alright, i stumbled on this and forgot about it but think it's ridiculously rad. Sharp apparently has created a new kind of TV with a parallax barrier that allows two separate pictures at the same time depending on the angle. It would totally change how the living room is set up "Kids, stay on the right side of the room! keep watching the wiggles; daddy's watching the naughty movies over here"


Here is a pic of it in action, pretty cool.

Interruptus

Oh no you did not just call me at 0205 and interrupt my watching the Chapelle Show. This had better be good, yo.

Oh yeah, and how about the site? Flame on asshole, right? Yeah, gotta work on that.

Fallen From Grace

So...um....how does one make up for sending a birthday message to one ex-girlfriend with the name of another ex-girlfriend in the subject line (the one I dated after the first, no less). No, really, i'd like to know....you know, in the crazy event that it may or may not have happened....

(Why i'm writing to my ex-girlfriends on their birthdays still is a whole other issue)

sigh.

Aww Lawd, Why Me?

So, I was checking my email this afternoon and got two messages with attachment from two different friends. They BOTH contained the SAME attachment and is as follows:

Hi everyone:

Sorry for the mass email (and sorry to many of you for being so out of touch for so very long!).

I'm currently consulting on a gay & Asian documentary for Logo (MTV's new gay channel) and wanted to forward the casting call to you (it's at the end of the email).

If you know of anyone who might fit the bill or be interesting to profile, I'd greatly appreciate it if you could passed the message along.

Please let me know if you have any questions.

Hope you're all well and having a wonderful summer!

Best,
XXXXXXXXX

(Name deleted to protect the ignorant)

_________________________________________________________________________

--LOGO is seeking people from the LGBT API community for a new documentary project…

We are hoping to find and show real stories to illustrate what it means to be LGBT and of Asian & Pacific Island descent in today's society.

If you are willing to be on camera, WE WANT TO HEAR YOUR STORY.

For instance, are you…
* Planning on introducing your partner to your family for the first time?
* Facing discrimination within the gay community?
* Having a difficult time dating someone with the same background as you?
* Having a difficult time dating people from different backgrounds?
* OR tell us any other stories/journeys that you feel are relevant to this topic.

PLEASE E-MAIL US AT: logoasian@mtvstaff.com

*Be sure to include your name and full contact information in your note (address, phone, e-mail, and best times to reach you). Tell us as much as you can about what your story is and what would happen if our cameras documented your life.

We look forward to hearing from you!

Thank you ~ The Logo Team

Now, hey, that's great that there is frank discourse and that the LGBT community is getting a well deserved national voice with this new station. I also think that the idea of focusing on being LGBT from different ethnic standpoints is a great idea because the experience would be different for everybody. However....and this is the part I really disagree with....is that everyone assumes that I'm gay. I haven't seen the one girl in years...no wonder I didn't get laid in college! Fine. I subscribe to Elle Decor. Fine. I use product in my hair every day. Fine. I hate the way pleated pants fall and how my jeans hang on me. Fine. I sometimes find myself muttering "This years Christian Lacroix's pret a porter fall line looks like it was stolen from meth-head bag ladies". Fine.

revelation

five to seven business days

 

ridiculous

 

That's how long they say it's going to take to change my new phone line's voicemail from four to six rings.  What kind of technology are they using?  Are they using small time machines inside the phones that makes the voicemail think there's only been four rings when there has actually been six?  Oh really?  Well, then nevermind, if that's the case then five days seems pretty reasonable...especially since they have to invent that technology.  Sorry, fellas, good luck with that.  And hey, why don't you go ahead and take the full seven days, 'kay?  xoxo

Alium

Alium - the latin name used to refer to the ornamental varieties of flowering onion.

 

Nothin too exciting today.  My to do list is ridiculous and it seems i get nothing done.  I am also super sleepy today and yes, i just fell asleep and drooled on myselft.  pure genius. 

 

I'm also trying to figure out what I want to do in my new house to make it look nicer.  This week, the last of the roommates will be moving in, so i'll have a better idea of what the place will look like. 

 

aww crap...my tivo was delivered to my front door but i won't be there for two days.  gotta go.

 

 

So, I have trouble eating healthily....in fact it's downright criminal what I eat.  Here's a bunch of pretty easy recipes that are fairly healthy.

Spasm

Last night I went to a pretty good show at the high noon.  The first guy (can't remember his name) sang "Oh Comely" originally by Neutral Milk Hotel which is one of my favorite songs and then played the clarinet....automatically in my good book.  Then Canasta came on afterwards and I really liked their set; and maybe we'll see them in Chicago this weekend.  But....the most entertaining portion of the evening was the two sole figures on the dancefloor.  I'm not sure where they bought their rhythm from, but I AM pretty sure it's broke.  They better get that shit fixed before they stand in front of a roomfull of people.  wow, that was painful...and funny.

 

Continuance of my flickr obsession:  Sigur Ros on Flickr!

I thought it was a joke:  The new Harper's Ipod has got to be the strangest idea ever.....and I quote "and each unit comes preloaded with high-resolution photos of every writer whose work has appeared in the magazine during Lewis's long tenure".  What the hell? worst. idea. ever. 

Phenomena

1) Roomba vs Cleaning Lady

 My new place is far from as clean as I would like it.  I really haven't put the time into it, however.  Though, over the long run, I wonder if hiring a person to clean our house (yes, I know, it's sexist of my to call them "cleaning ladies") would help at all.  I think perhaps just once a month for the kitchen and the bathrooms.  The other thing I'm tossing around....mostly because i like throwing money away (btw, only i can say that, if anyone else does, I take horrible offense)......is getting a roomba; many people say these guys are great.  I will continue to resarch this.  i'm sure you're all waiting on the edge of your seats.  You're tortured.

 

2) Flickr: I love flickr, I think it's a great idea and I think digital imaging is changing the way we see the world.  For example, on 7/7 I was able to see first hand accounts of the damage, the people, and how it affected life.  I was hoping for a flurry of activity about the tour de france....unfortunately all I got was alot of this. 

 

However, there is one german guy posting some good pics here....and he has some random pictures of a parade and beach volleyball (mmmm).

 

3) Other:

A million and one uses for google maps at lifehacker.  some of them are very rad.

Soap Box

Alright, a few weeks ago, the ten best albums of the past twenty years as decided by Spin magazine were announced.  Yes, yes, I know...sure, all of them are seminal albums in certain genres....but some of them are dated and when i look at this list, I only get really excited about a handful of them.   I guess everyone has their own choices, but you know that these were all picked by mid 30's editors that listened to this stuff in college.

 

the spin list:

1 Radiohead - OK Computer

2 Public Enemy - It Takes A Nation of Millions To Hold Us Back

3 Nirvana - Nevermind

4 Pavement - Slanted And Enchanted

5 The Smiths - The Queen Is Dead

6 Pixies - Surfer Rosa

7 De La Soul - 3 Feet High And Rising

8 Prince - Sign O' The Times

9 PJ Harvey - Rid Of Me

10 NWA - Straight Outta Compton

 

The MSNBC list in response to the spin article actually has alot more interesting picks (please don't ever tell anyone that i agree with MSNBC's picks for anything).

 

1) Public Enemy - fear of a black planet

2) Indigo girls- s/t

3) Joshua Tree - U2

4) Graceland - Paul Simon

5) Pearljam - Ten

6) Unplugged Nirvana - Nirvana

7) Paul's Boutique - Beastie Boys

8) Harvest Moon - Neil Young

9) American Recordings - Johnny Cash

10) Rattle and Hum - U2

11) 3 Feet High and Rising - De La Soul

12) Hounds of Hell - Kate Bush

13) OK Computer - Radiohead

14) Exile in Guyville - liz phair

15) Low end theory - tribe

16) fear of fours- lamb

17) Tindersticks - s/t

18 ) Le Tigre - s/t

19) Turn on the Bright Lights - Interpol

20) Debut - Bjork

21) If you're feeling sinister - B and S

22) Emperor Tomato Ketchup - Stereolab

23) Entroducing - Dj Shadow

about 7 more that i skipped because i didn't like them; get over it.

 

I would have to spend a while thinking about what my top ten would be.  I'm sure I will be doing that for the next 48 hours....great.  Wait...something's different....did I just lose all my street cred cuz I said I liked Graceland?  Dang.

snooze

Ugh, another day of difficulty getting out of bed.  My roommates are gonna kill me soon becaue of the snooze.  Is it really my fault?  I say emphatically, NO!  The fault is societies and affirmative action, and el nino, and global warming, and al Qaeda, and communism, and especially the stupid washing machine that was set to soak so i had to wait for it to finish before i put it in the dryer.  Why the hell is there a soak function anyway?  stupid.

 

Check out the Intonation line up, it's crazy good.  I hope to you both there next weekend.

www.pitchforkmedia.com (click on the icon/add to the left).

 

I gotta start putting pictures in this, it's fairly boring, sorry.

 

Links:

Really funny review of the fantastic 4 movie toys:

http://www.portlandmercury.com/2005-07-07/feature3.html

 

creepy but cool pics of people meshed with their pics as a child http://www.bobbyneeladams.com/age.html

 

Dang cingular, i knew things were jacked up with my phone:

http://www.engadget.com/entry/1234000330050026/

 

The biggest containership in the world is awesome and only has a crew of 19:

http://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/content_pages/record.asp?recordid=43775

 

Interesting but sometimes disturbing blog about secrets:

http://postsecret.blogspot.com (may be repeat from previous)

Simple Life

There are a few basic things that are just marvelous when they occur:
1) A Good Bowel Movement
2) Good Sleep
3) A Good Shower
4) Good Sex
5) Good food (though, i did write "foot" initially, Freudian?)
[ed note: had to put "good" in front of each of these because a "bad" version can ruin your whole day....like, for example, the cafeteria's attempt at grilled salmon...blech. Shoulda known better.)

In the past 24, and likely 36 hours, I will have had none of these. That makes me a cranky, irritable boy.

I feel that lack of all of these will make my team at work come together and unify. in rage.

Contact

Alright, I'll admit it. I have a really bad habit. I make eye contact with strangers. There it is. I used to live in Chicago and was really good about completely ignoring the existence of others. But here, people are all up in your grill at all times, so I figure I'd meet their smiling gaze. They're too damn friendly and too damn polite; yeah, I know, it's disgusting.

Well, usually that's the case. Today, I happened to be at work making my usual eye contact with wild abandon and recklessness. I do sometimes forget, however, that people here are crazy....no not just "I like the smell of my fingers because they remind me of chee-tos" crazy....i'm talkin certifiable crazy...I'm talkin Silence of the Lambs crazy....yep, even Fox News crazy. So I look at this dude and immediately catch my error. Whoops. I opened the crazy floodgates. Here it comes. Man, the crazy shit that this guy was spewing was really good. Aliens, and CIA, and dinosaurs... oh my!

Hey, did you know that Babe Ruth was an Alien? It's apparently true. Well, if you didn't know that, I'll bet you also didn't know that he wrestled dinosaurs! I know, it seems so logical now. That's how Korea got all the uranium [didn't know that either!]. This guy was a wealth of information, really helpful, but he did have the not so faint odor of urine and curdled milk. shucks. coulda found a new sidekick.

I need a shower now.

[ed. note: to the comment made about Seal and Klum being married with kids; was it just to point it out or is it because you disagree with me moving in on Seal's "territory"? [first of all, that's objectification of women, they should not be viewed as "territory" and why do you want their kids to be orphans? jerk.]

strange news

I just read a newspaper headline that read "Taliban threatens SEAL";  hmm, I know "A Kiss from A Rose" is a good song, but really is that kind of action necessary?  Oh wait, isn't he dating Heidi Klum?  hmm.   Yeah, go get him Taliban.  Heidi, you have a shoulder to cry on right here.

Off to a great start....

Hooray!  It's Friday!!  Okay, sure, I have to work all weekend, but whatever....it's FRIDAY!!!  Anyway, today got off to a bang up start.

 

~0521-red lights awaken me from sleep....uh oh, did I fall asleep in "the district" again?  nope, it's a beautiful sunrise.

0522-fall back asleep

0531-wake up again...why the hell does the sun have to be so bright?  I get excited by how pretty it looks

0532-rummage through my room for my camera

0534-still rummaging

0537-find the camera and proceed to take a series of bleary eyed photos of the sunrise through a dirty window and forty feet of trees...brilliant

0538-fall back asleep

0545-alarm goes off, snooze

0552-snooze

0559-snooze

0606-snooze

0612-snooze

0619-snooze

0626-snooze but knock pillows off bed.  fuck, might as well get up.

0630-decide to trim my goat-tee, AWW FUCK, one of my roommates (no, not you, the other one) must have switched the trim height....now i look like a friggin seventh grader trying to grow a mustache...great; gotta finish the job

0645-out of shampoo, have to use volume builder shampoo that my roommate uses (don't tell)....the last thing I need is more volume

0648-contact is acting up...oops, i think my right one just fell out!  can't see out of that eye.  I open a new pack and put the contact in.

0655-nope....looks like my old contact didn't fall out...still in there...with the new one....brilliant.

0700-my roommate apparently spent the night at a friends in milwaukee....he quietly sneaks up on me after I exit the bathroom....says my name...i have a small heart attack.

0715-i get to work to find out that I left my white coat at home....dangit.

 

 

The most stolen sign in Austria:  Fucking A[ustria]; it's especially funny because i think the sign below it says "please slow down"; check out the list of other interestingly named locations.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fucking,_Austria

 

A letter to the terrorists from London: We rather like it

http://www.lnreview.co.uk/news/005167.php

 

Awesome; a sink that backlights the water to indicate water temperature [and a cool ultra-mod design]

http://mocoloco.com/archives/001233.php#more

 

 

Monkey house

Today just blows....there's nothin else to it except that.  Everybody is sooo damn needy today.  Get off my teet, yo!  You can't expect me to carry all y'alls sorry asses all day.  Hmmm, random rambling about situations that are nebulously described...yes, this is what the internet is for.  Does anybody know about the London bombings?  What a horrible disaster.  Has anyone claimed responsibility?  You know, I know that it is completely horrible, but after the initial shock, I still think in the back of my mind "It's no September 11th"....I know, I'll go to hell for that.

 

 

Really sad photo's on Flickr's london bomb blast pool and the guardian has a great blog about it; and even the wiki is pretty comprehensive

 

Lighter stuff:

Are you sure he's not an jackass?

 

What do 500 nude sunbathers look like? Like this....exactly like maggots....ewww.

 

Director's top ten movie lists.

 

I like this watch, though it would look dumb on me.  I'll be cool enough for a nixon some day.  some day.

 

If this were a little cheaper, I'd prolly get this picture frame prefab gallery.

One more thing...

Just to relate to you how ridiculous my life is, in the past ten minutes, I have humiliated myself not once, but twice. I have a penchant for ridiculous situations; I must secretly crave them...since what else am i going to blog about, right?

The following scenarios are as follows, the characters have been changed to protect the moderately embarrassed.

Scenario 1:
Some guy decides to go to the bathroom. He picks the men's room right near his new office. It's a full sized men's room that is fairly clean. That should have tipped him off right there. He DID think as he was walking in "it's weird that a full sized men's room would be down a hallway with 98% women working there." but that thought quickly dissipated as the wonderful, nay, delicious smell of the urinal cakes wafted his way. He siddled up smugly to the urinal, noting that he didn't have to lean in from several feet away to avoid the poorly aimed drops that usually litter the floor around the urinal. The bathroom was empty, too; an added bonus because he didn't have to stand next to anyone; he has intimacy issues, you know. Everything was going great, he was thinking of clever things to scrawl on the clean walls above the urinals. But mid-stream, that's when it happened. The door opened and two female secretaries march right in. The catch me...erm, him.... out of the corner of their eye and their conversation abruptly stops. He franticly throws his shoulder into the wall to block their view of his glorious monument. They act like nothing happened and both silently enter stalls. He hurries the last little bit....quickly washes his hands (he HAD to, or else it would have just compounded the problem) and quickly exits hoping that everything will blow over. Just great. Apparently, the invisible agreement to make this a unisex bathroom was not relayed to me. I did NOT get the memo.

Scenario 2:
Some guy, hurrying back from the bathroom, is stopped by another secretary down the hall, only a few feet from the safe refuge of his private, ridicule-less office. He chats with her, hoping to get out of the hallway as soon as he can. She's a jokester and keeps telling me....oops, him...the most ridiculous jokes. She's part way through some other ridiculous sentence, meanwhile, his head is racing to try to think of a way out of this situation. He's not paying any attention to what she's saying, but something deep in his head picks something up. "I'm sorry, excuse me? I didn't catch that." he says puzzled. She says with a slight smirk, "I said "The horse is out of the barn, I think". I [he] look[s] down towards my [his] pants.

The horse is out of the barn, indeed.

sigh.

More links as I search for my dignity; it's in here somewhere:

He always wears the prettiest of skirts:
http://us.news3.yimg.com/us.i2.yimg.com/p/ap/20050704/capt.wvgh10207041434.bush_wvgh102.jpg

The top sites according to TIME as i promised earlier:
http://www.time.com/time/business/article/0,8599,1072872,00.html

McDonalds re-design of their uniforms; in a related story, MC Hammer will be designing the local hospital scrubs.
http://money.cnn.com/2005/07/05/news/fortune500/mcdonalds_uniforms/index.htm?cnn=yes

Noontime Food

Well, it's been three years since I've been at this job....and honestly, I think today is the first time in that long that I was able to sit peacefully, without interruptions with a full meal in front of me and finish eating.  It was wonderful, really; I don't have the words to describe it.  And frankly, I'm moderately aroused now because of it.  Oh wait, sorry....  I think I will call this mid-day meal "lunch"....feel free to use it at will.

 

Anyway, nothing too exciting going on today; apparently, now that i moved into my new apartment, both myself and my current roommate have turned into housecats.  It seems that we both end up napping our days away randomly throughout the apartment.  Maybe we need a carbon monoxide monitor?  Nah.

 

 

So, because I had this lunch time, I was able to find possibly the greatest brief summary of major American Historical events:  the graphics are low budget, but it does a great job of going through major events.

http://www.animatedatlas.com/movie2.html

 

Yep, stormtrackers are crazy dorks; but their pictures are ridiculous:

http://stormtrack.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=7247

 

Useful advertising, for chi-chi's salsa no less!  A surprisingly good food term glossary:  i always wondered what zwieback was.

http://www.chichissalsa.com/glossary.asp?listkey=A&catitemid=

 

Moderately disturbing flash media of a woman falling and hitting immovable spheres on the way down:  somehow it's strangely addicting, i can't stop watching her.  the flash on the right follows your mouse movements:

http://s92095372.onlinehome.us/flash/

 

Dangit, I wish i had this BEFORE july 4th, all the pictures I took look like i was having a seizure during the pictures:  How to take pictures of fireworks

http://www.nyip.com/tips/current/digfirewks.php

Now for something completely different

So, I'm withdrawing from the internet, but there a few links I've found in my frantic sprint through all the sites I usually go to:

Cycling: The tour started this past weekend, but I haven't been able to follow it. Though I did go for two rides this week (i cannot ride alone apparently, by the way, taking left turns are too scary). But here is a site for adventure touring, some of these routes are just crazy. I can't wait to get more miles under me before I try one of these.

On being a Doctor and a complete Freakshow: I just loved this site about how Apeshit Crazy Tom Cruise is. I actually do think he's a pretty good actor, but it just goes to show you that the people that are in entertainment and that we try to glean as much advice from, are complete morons. There, I said it, and I'll stand behind it.

Another chapter in the lewd but funny Ann Coulter lover series. Did he just write "It’s not how the meat bounces on the girl; it’s how the girl bounces on the meat"? and "it’s a little like trying to fuck a mechanical bull"? Did he just use the terms "uterus poker" and "Intelligent design"? Blech. Definitely not safe for work, and not safe for Fox News watchers.
(And by the same guy, those old Love is cartoons...slightly different...http://theendofhumor.blogspot.com/)

Man, I can only wish my blog was as good as this one.

The suicide girls interview chuck palahnuick.

An interview with Washingtonienne on Gothamist...apparently one of my friends wants to be just like her. We all need dreams I guess.

If anybody happens to be in oh, i dunno, chicago this weekend, here are some non-firework events: http://centerstagechicago.com/recreation/african-carib-fest.html or http://centerstagechicago.com/music/clubs/lakeview-fest.html (which I've been to twice, and it is fun) and especially for the vegetarians: http://www.ribfest.net/

My advice, buy a damn corkscrew: how to open a bottle of wine without a corkscrew

Post it note mosaics. very cool.

The Fidelity Wars

I am hungry. I am always hungry. It's likely because I haven't eaten a decent meal in the past two days. Last night, I planned to have this really great dinner, but one of my new roommates (no, not you, the other one) wanted to go see a movie. Shit, I'm usually always game to see a movie. I haven't seen so many in the past few weeks though cuz it's been really busy (though I did see batman returns and really liked it). Hey, maybe I'll watch mean streets again from netfilx today. Ooops, sorry, i'll try to stay focused. So, anyway, I end up going to this movie and being Sunday night, all the food places (in some cultures, these are also known as "restaurants") were closed. Jerks. So I end up going to this movie hungry. Not good.

I have been out of the loop (see previous posts re:"lack of internet" and "really busy") and hadn't heard of the movie but it was called "My Summer of Love". I was told it was a "coming of age" film, it was foreign and had two cute girls in it that fall in love. Nuff said, I can read between the lines; my roommate expected loads of girl on girl action, and hey, i can't say that i'm above that...so there we are.

And true to form, it did have two girls fall in love, and there was some partial nudity. And sure, one of the girls I found to be ridiculously beautiful. But, during the course of the whole movie, I was really kind of annoyed at the idyllic and pastoral love affair of the rich girl back from school and the kinda dirty low down Yorkshire girl with the ex-con brother that recently found Jesus. Ugh. on and on. the lesbians in the theatre bubbly over the derogatory remarks about the characters previous boyfriend; the hippie book club women to our right, giddy over the whole love affair and I dunno...the blooming of the yoni or something. For fuck sake. I thought the characters were trite and boring and actually hoped for more nudity just to take my mind off it. But then [**spoiler alert**]in the last THREE MINUTES of the movie, everything falls apart and the "saved" brother beats his sister up and rejects the Lord, the "poor girl" then goes to the "rich girl's" house to find that everything she has told her was a lie, they meet out in the forest at their secret spot to make up and the "poor girl" tries to murder the "rich girl", then walks home more self assured than at any other point in the movie. Now THAT's a better ending than the "Thelma and Louise" ending I was picturing. Well, it did better at the end, but I can't say i'd recommend the movie as a whole. Yep, I'm really on my soapbox today.

Independance day

[sic]
Alright, I figured I should just stop the last post where it lay. Anyway, I'm living in this new house and unfortunately don't yet have broadband access. Sux. And this place is so damn old, I'm not sure where the ports or the boxes are for the utilities. However, in anticipation of getting TV for the first time in 2 years, I have decided that I would like to maximize time wastage by getting TiVO (nay, I think it will minimize time wastage and cut out the fat, only the gravy for me from now on). I feel like i'm behind the times without it...i can't let that happen, right? I mean, embracing technology and adopting early is the crux of what makes America great. Our country was founded on not only the strength of our forefathers arms, but also on their technological acumen. The greatest inventions of man have been created in this young, august country of ours. We shall NOT forget this as we celebrate our independence today not just from the tyranny of other countries, but the torpidity of the "status-quo mindset".

Yeah, all that, and I have to figure out if I can set the TiVO to record anything that has "nudity" in it's rating warning.

Off the grid/At the Summer Home

Greetings! Well, I know both of you are at a wedding, so my readership is currently zero; however, I thought I would restart posting! Yes, excitement all around. Maybe soon I will also restart exercising? Meh.

So, I was just thinking the other day that my life has completely changed in the past few days. I've moved into a new house that completely reminds me of a summer home (because when it was built in 1915 it WAS a summer home). I now have roommates(!). I started a new job that I didn't think was going to be as different as it is. I'm driving a new car now, too. Oh, and I also realize that I'm gay....with roommates(!). Ha ha, just kidding...the readership just got rilly nervous. Wait...would you have a problem with that? Why couldn't you [hypothetically] accept me for who I am? Jerks. I'm changing the locks. And you SO can't borrow my Neutrogena Deep Cleaning Face Cloths.