Contact

Alright, I'll admit it. I have a really bad habit. I make eye contact with strangers. There it is. I used to live in Chicago and was really good about completely ignoring the existence of others. But here, people are all up in your grill at all times, so I figure I'd meet their smiling gaze. They're too damn friendly and too damn polite; yeah, I know, it's disgusting.

Well, usually that's the case. Today, I happened to be at work making my usual eye contact with wild abandon and recklessness. I do sometimes forget, however, that people here are crazy....no not just "I like the smell of my fingers because they remind me of chee-tos" crazy....i'm talkin certifiable crazy...I'm talkin Silence of the Lambs crazy....yep, even Fox News crazy. So I look at this dude and immediately catch my error. Whoops. I opened the crazy floodgates. Here it comes. Man, the crazy shit that this guy was spewing was really good. Aliens, and CIA, and dinosaurs... oh my!

Hey, did you know that Babe Ruth was an Alien? It's apparently true. Well, if you didn't know that, I'll bet you also didn't know that he wrestled dinosaurs! I know, it seems so logical now. That's how Korea got all the uranium [didn't know that either!]. This guy was a wealth of information, really helpful, but he did have the not so faint odor of urine and curdled milk. shucks. coulda found a new sidekick.

I need a shower now.

[ed. note: to the comment made about Seal and Klum being married with kids; was it just to point it out or is it because you disagree with me moving in on Seal's "territory"? [first of all, that's objectification of women, they should not be viewed as "territory" and why do you want their kids to be orphans? jerk.]