One more thing...

Just to relate to you how ridiculous my life is, in the past ten minutes, I have humiliated myself not once, but twice. I have a penchant for ridiculous situations; I must secretly crave them...since what else am i going to blog about, right?

The following scenarios are as follows, the characters have been changed to protect the moderately embarrassed.

Scenario 1:
Some guy decides to go to the bathroom. He picks the men's room right near his new office. It's a full sized men's room that is fairly clean. That should have tipped him off right there. He DID think as he was walking in "it's weird that a full sized men's room would be down a hallway with 98% women working there." but that thought quickly dissipated as the wonderful, nay, delicious smell of the urinal cakes wafted his way. He siddled up smugly to the urinal, noting that he didn't have to lean in from several feet away to avoid the poorly aimed drops that usually litter the floor around the urinal. The bathroom was empty, too; an added bonus because he didn't have to stand next to anyone; he has intimacy issues, you know. Everything was going great, he was thinking of clever things to scrawl on the clean walls above the urinals. But mid-stream, that's when it happened. The door opened and two female secretaries march right in. The catch me...erm, him.... out of the corner of their eye and their conversation abruptly stops. He franticly throws his shoulder into the wall to block their view of his glorious monument. They act like nothing happened and both silently enter stalls. He hurries the last little bit....quickly washes his hands (he HAD to, or else it would have just compounded the problem) and quickly exits hoping that everything will blow over. Just great. Apparently, the invisible agreement to make this a unisex bathroom was not relayed to me. I did NOT get the memo.

Scenario 2:
Some guy, hurrying back from the bathroom, is stopped by another secretary down the hall, only a few feet from the safe refuge of his private, ridicule-less office. He chats with her, hoping to get out of the hallway as soon as he can. She's a jokester and keeps telling me....oops, him...the most ridiculous jokes. She's part way through some other ridiculous sentence, meanwhile, his head is racing to try to think of a way out of this situation. He's not paying any attention to what she's saying, but something deep in his head picks something up. "I'm sorry, excuse me? I didn't catch that." he says puzzled. She says with a slight smirk, "I said "The horse is out of the barn, I think". I [he] look[s] down towards my [his] pants.

The horse is out of the barn, indeed.

sigh.

More links as I search for my dignity; it's in here somewhere:

He always wears the prettiest of skirts:
http://us.news3.yimg.com/us.i2.yimg.com/p/ap/20050704/capt.wvgh10207041434.bush_wvgh102.jpg

The top sites according to TIME as i promised earlier:
http://www.time.com/time/business/article/0,8599,1072872,00.html

McDonalds re-design of their uniforms; in a related story, MC Hammer will be designing the local hospital scrubs.
http://money.cnn.com/2005/07/05/news/fortune500/mcdonalds_uniforms/index.htm?cnn=yes